Hungry Hands
by Curly98
Summary: A story were the horrible episode never happened. Clarke and Lexa moved on with their relationship getting serious. But lately Clarke has been more distant. Lexa isn't able to get thru to her and their relationship is now at a breaking point. Will Heda and Wanheda win the greatest battle of all times? Love. Or will they slay each other to pieces leaving nothing but broken heart.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is a very short story I thought of listening to the song Hungry Hands by The Common Linnets. This is set in a future where Lexa didn't die in that horrible episode. It's still a sad very short story but I really wanted to write it. Hope you enjoy it and I hope you'll leave a review for me :)**

Lexa woke up surrounded by the warm furs but not the arms of her lover. This wasn't the first time she woke up alone but lately all she did was wake up alone. Lexa wasn't clingy. Not at all. But she really loved waking up close to her Clarke. Fighting the urge to stay wrapped up in the warm furs rolled herself out of bed and grabbed her clothes. Making her way over to the balcony where Clarke was already sitting there having breakfast. Lately she didn't wait for Lexa to join her anymore.

"Morning" Lexa kissed Clarke on the cheek but didn't get much love in return. Of course she wasn't stupid. Not everything would stay the same as it was when they first embraced their love and dove in head first. She didn't expect it to go this bad though. Lexa sat down on the chair opposite of Clarke's and tried to make conversation "what are you gonna do today?"

"I am spending the day with the nightbloods. They asked for a sparring match with Wanheda"

"Nobody told me about that" Lexa frowned. She didn't like the idea of Clarke wielding around swords and people wielding swords around Clarke.

Clarke stood up and headed out of the room "I have my own life you know"

Lexa watched her lover leave the room and sighed. In every move Clarke makes lately she can see that Clarke is trying to move on. That is what Lexa wanted for her. That she'd move on from all the pain and blame. But she wanted her to move on together. This was so fucked up. She noticed that Clarke grew further apart from her every single day. Clarke look like she wanted to bolt out the door any moment but she never saw her actually leave. She'd stare at the woods from the balcony for hours but never left.

The rest of the day commander business swallowed up her day. She couldn't wait to return to their room and wrap herself in Clarke's arms. Maybe even have some fun in bed before actually falling asleep. It has been ages since they've been intimate and Lexa missed her lovers touch. When she made it to their room Clarke was standing in the moonlight on the balcony in her nightgown. The wind was blowing it around her slender body making a beautiful picture that Lexa wanted to remember forever and ever. She undid the shoulder straps and moved towards her lover wrapping her arms around her from behind "you look beautiful in this moonlight" Clarke didn't answer and left her hands where they were not moving at all. "You smell like heaven" Lexa tried again wanting to receive something back from her lover. Clarke leaned back against her a little then turned around taking her hand leading them to the bed. Lexa knew where this was going or at least she hoped so and shed her clothes along the way. When they landed on the bed Clarke moved her hands to Lexa's hips. She almost jumped at the icecold hands. This was unusual. You could say a lot about Clarke but the girl never had cold hands. Then Lexa realized something. The hungry hands that couldn't leave her body alone for a minute alone have now turned into cold hands that wouldn't touch her like they did before. All those times those hands set her free. Made every worry she had disappear. Made her feel like a normal person again and not just the commander.

"Stop" Lexa said and pushed Clarke off her.

"What?" Clarke grunted annoyed.

"You don't love me anymore do you?" Lexa said fighting back her tears wanting to cut straight to the point. Clarke looked taken back and stared at Lexa "I'm not the one you want anymore am I?"

Clarke moved off the bed and put on her clothes again. She looked at the door wanting to run out. Run away from this moment and never return to it again.

Lexa saw the look Clarke had in her eyes and sat up "if you want to leave. Leave. I won't keep you here" she moved off the bed not wanting to see her lover leave and moved to the back of the room grabbing a large shirt not realizing it was Clarke's. When she sat down in the book of the room Clarke's smell hit her like a ton of bricks and she cried. Cried like she never cried before or will cry again. When she heard her door close her heart broke in two. The mighty Heda was slain by Warheda. But not in the way anyone expected..


	2. Chapter 2

Lexa was still sitting against the wall sniffling into Clarke's shirt when dawn broke. Sunlight beamed into the room. This made Lexa realize the truth again. Clarke wasn't here. She probably wouldn't be here again ever.

 _Meanwhile in the woods_

Clarke had been walking thru the woods for what seemed like ages but she knew it was just a short journey. But she needed to go. She needed to go back to SkaiKru. To her people. She didn't belong in Polis. She didn't belong next to the commander as her lover. Clarke is SkaiKru and that's what she'll always be. Hours she spent looking at the woods from the balcony. Behind those woods lay Arkadia. Her real home. She loved Lexa. She really did but Polis was her home away from home.

The thoughts of Lexa now alone in Polis scared her. She would be safe. Besides being a great warrior herself there were hundreds of other warriors and guards walking around Polis. But Clarke always felt more secure about Lexa's safety when she the Wanheda herself was by Lexa's side. Noticing night already began to darken the woods Clarke pushed on. Heading to Arkadia. The place she should be.

 _Meanwhile in Polis_

Somehow Lexa found the strength to get up and put on her own clothes and listen to ambassadors and chancellors bicker about who owned what and who must answer for crimes. Titus obviously noticed the commanders absent mind but she didn't care. Without Clarke every decision she took made her doubt herself anyway. This is was ridiculous. At the end of the meeting Lexa stood up and left the room first. Not noticing a dark figure lurking in the shadows. As she made her way to her room again she ignored the speech Titus gave her about staying focused. She locked him out of her room and sat on her bed. Before she could react a figure jumped from the shadows and grabbed Lexa. Immobilizing her by breaking her arms and putting her in a headlock.

 _Meanwhile in the woods near Arkadia_

Could it be? Was she really hearing the hustle and bustle of Arkadia already. Not stopping to rest at night really got her closer to Arkada fast. She climbed up a little hill and there it was, Arkadia. It looked a bit different then she was used to but she still recognized it. Not being able to control herself she ran down the hill and headed to the gate. At first the guards didn't recognize her and pulled their guns but as she got closer they lowered them quickly and opened the gate.

"Chancellor!" they yelled in union and Kane appeared quickly walking to the get. He immediately called for Abby and before she knew she was surrounded by everyone she cared for.

Abby hugged her daughter "we didn't expect you."

"Honestly I didn't expect to be here either" Clarke admitted and looked down. She missed her mother but that must be the same feeling Lexa had now and it killed her to think she hurt Lexa.

"Did something happen?" Octavia asked noticing the way Clarke was acting. Not her usual self. She seemed worried. Broken. Hurt. Feelings Octavia wasn't all so comfortable with. The question raised alarm with the others and they all stared at her.

Clarke swallowed she had to answer them. If only she knew how. Did something happen? Yes she was to chicken to admit to Lexa that she missed having her own life. Her old life. But that probably wasn't what her friends meant. "Nothing happened." she said softly "I just missed you all"

Raven cheered "I say we have a welcome back party tonight". The rest erupted in cheering and went of to do their thing leaving Abby and Clarke standing there together. Call it a mother's intuition but Abby knew there was something more going on.

She leaned closer to her daughter "Did Lexa hurt you?" it was obvious that Abby still didn't trust Lexa. Not even now her own daughter shared a bed with Lexa.

Clarke looked up at her mother tears in her eyes "she didn't hurt me. I am the one who hurt her"

 _Meanwhile at Polis_

Lexa slowly came to her head feeling heavy. When the fog cleared out of her mind she tried to move but found herself bound feet to hands by thick metal chain. Every move hurting her broken arms like hell. Her attacker was smart. Immobilizing her in a painful but not deadly way. She sat perfectly still trying to make sense of her surroundings. She was still in her room. The light of the candles had gone dimmer which meant a few hours had passed. Voices. There were voices in the distance. Coming closer. Scream or stay quiet? Lexa decided to stay quited. You never know what your attacker will do if you scream. The voices stopped and reappeared behind her. When they resumed talking her blood turned cold. Ice nation. She recognized their native tongue. Lexa tried to keep her rage under control. This will be war. The footsteps came closer and a man kneeled before her. Leaning closer to her the candlelight lit up his voice revealing who he was. King Roan. Lexa was confused. Was this payback for her killing his queen?

"I was surprised when I didn't find Wanheda warming up your bed" he said taunting Lexa hoping for a reaction. But Lexa didn't respond. "Then again I should have known. It only verified the message I was asked to bring you"

"You attacked your Heda just to deliver a message?"

"Not just a message. A message about Wanheda." Lexa looked at him listening very carefully. "I got you attention now don't I?"

"What is your message?"

"My hunters saw your precious Wanheda get captured by the sky people."

"Why would her own people captured her?" Lexa asked trying not to laugh at his stupidity.

Roan didn't appreciate this "because she convinced her people to see you as an ally only to have you betray her, killed her own kind in the mountain, choose you over her own people. Pick your reason" he spat.

Lexa knew all of this was true. Clarke convinced her that SkaiKru wasn't at treat for the both of them but what if she was wrong. Roan made a decent point. Clarke was the face to all the pain and suffering suffered by SkaiKru. Certain members would love to see her beheaded.

"Why did you bring me the message?"

"Ice Nation wants to show Heda that they are loyal. Warheda is precious to you. This is a token of her loyalty."

Lexa looked at the chains "Again all of this for message?"

Roan laughed slightly "I was certain you'd kill me before I got a chance to speak. Don't worry you just dislocated your shoulders, elbows and wrists." with that Roan stood up and looked down at Lexa "your guards will be here in a few minutes to free you. Enjoy your war with the sky people." Together with the mysterious man he disappeared into the night.

A few minutes later guards stormed in the room to free her from her restraints. While her healer moved the bones back to position her anger raged on. Not only was Clarke stupid enough to leave all on her own while everyone still wanted a piece of Wanheda but she got captured by her own people who as Roan summed up so nicely for her had quite the score to settle. "Get ready for war!" she yelled at a confused warrior "at dawn we march to surround SkaiKru!"


	3. Chapter 3

_Meanwhile in Arkadia_

Clarke was talking to Octavia about the people in Polis. Octavia wanted to know everything that happened since she was gone. Normally Clarke would love seeing Octavia happy and in her element talking about warriors but her mind drifted off. Everything she left behind at Polis flashed before her eyes. The first minutes since she left Clarke was sure she could always return to her Heda since besides being her Heda she was her lover. The further she went into the woods the more doubt had settled in her mind. Lexa would never forgive her for leaving. There's probably a law against it too.

Raven was doing the best she could to hook up the music again. One of the generators overheated and Raven had a hard time hooking a new one up to the music installation she worked on for days. She remembered Titus trying to scare her by telling her what happened to the bedwarmers of past commanders. All of that didn't scare her because the past commanders weren't Lexa. Lexa would never banish her into the woods or make her fight to the death. That just wasn't her Lexa. But that was all before she betrayed Lexa by leaving her and Polis. Jasper and Monty ran around making sure they had enough alcohol to last them all night and yelled Octavia to help them and not just stand around. She ran off after them leaving Clarke. Her eyes scanned the place she really called home but something wasn't right. The warm feelings she had back in Polis when she thought of home weren't there. She actually didn't feel anything. Not even the ice-cold wind sweeping thru the camp. Her mother popped up next to her "you sure you're alright Clarke?"

"Yeah it's just weird to be back here"

"Weird to be back without Lexa" her mom stated not even trying to make it sound like a question.

Clarke didn't answer and stared at her friends messing around with each other. Not a care in the world. "I stayed at Polis for a reason"

"Lexa" her mother stated again no emotion in her voice at all.

Clarke toyed with the sleeve of her shirt "you don't understand"

Her mom put her arm around her "I understand perfectly well. What I don't understand is why you came back unhappy."

Clarke sighed trying to control her emotions "I left Lexa. I just left. Without saying anything"

"Why?"

When Clarke opened up her mouth to answer the music turned on and her friends called her over to dance. She tried to protest but they just dragged them with her. She'll owe her mom the answer to her question.

 _Meanwhile in the woods_

Lexa headed to Arkadia with an army of warriors. She sat on top of her horse in fighting mode. Warpaint on her face and hand on sword. She was outraged. How dare they! The warriors surrounding Lexa glanced at each other. It was clear that she was outraged. They stopped at the edge of the woods. Together with one of her warriors she climbed the same hill Clarke climbed earlier and looked at camp Arkadia. See saw people dancing and drinking. The loud music was clearly audible. They were celebrating. Lexa's eyes filled up with fire. Those people were celebrating that they captured Clarke. Maybe they were even celebrating that she was already executed. The thought of finding Clarke's body in that camp made her stonecold. She moved back to her warriors and started barking orders "we fight the sky people today! They captured what belongs to me and are celebrating!" as she spat the words the warriors around her started to cheer "we shall slay every single one of them!" now she really got the warriors attention as bloodlust filled their eyes. She mounted her horse and waved her sword "surround them so nobody can escape once we attack!" Sounding like a thunderstorm they headed for Arkadia. Warriors on horseback, warriors on foot and warriors climbing up the trees to shoot arrows Lexa leading the way.

 _Meanwhile in Arkadia_

They were partying hard music booming loudly and alcohol messing with their brains. Nobody notices the thundering sound of an army coming closer. Suddenly the music stopped and everyone looked at Raven who held up her hands in a defensive stance "relax. We must have overheated the generator. I'll fix it" she headed off to the generator.

The thundering sound now coming closer was very audible for everyone now. Octavia looked at Lincoln who was dancing with her before "sounds like an army"

"That is an army" he said looking at the army heading for the gates off Arkadia. By now everyone noticed and the alarm was sounding. Panic was everywhere. A joyful celebration turned into total chaos in just a few seconds. Octavia and Lincoln moved closer to the gates to see who dared to attack them so suddenly. Lincoln was the first one to spot Lexa riding in front of the warriors "heda!" he said surprised and looked at Octavia who was just as confused. The warriors surrounded camp and stayed there. Kane ordered the guards to be ready but to hold their fire. He joined Octavia and Lincoln at the gate "what is this supposed to mean?"

Nobody but Lexa knew the answer to that. She slowly moved her horse closer to the gate. Lincoln looked at Kane "keep holding fire. Don't provoke"

Kane nodded and moved to the gate "commander. What's going on?"

Now that she was closer everyone could see the fire in her eyes. Something bad was going to happen and they knew it. "Open your gate"

"I'm not opening my gate to an army without knowing their intentions" Kane answered sounding calm and polite.

"You took something very precious from me. You shall pay the price" warriors moved forward wanting to attack but Lexa held up her first to stop them "I get first blood" she said to them in their native language. Kane looked over at Lincoln for an explanation but he couldn't offer him one. Octavia looked at Lexa sitting on her horse and her eye fell on something in her head. In the strands of dark hair one blonde one stood out. Braided into her hair and tucked behind her ear. At that moment Octavia realized what they supposedly took from her.

She stepped in front of Kane and Lincoln "if you want it you're gonna have to come of that horse. Walk inside here alone and take it with you out of free will"

Lexa's blood boiled when Octavia referred to Clarke as an it. Like she was just a toy Lexa wanted and they took "you'll die first" she growled.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Chapter 4 already. I believe I said this will be a short story but as long as you guys keep reading I'll keep writing. PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW. They really keep me going.**

 _Meanwhile inside the ark_

After a while Clarke managed to slip away from her dancing friends to find her mother. She still owed her answer. If only she actually knew the answer herself. Why did she leave Lexa like that? They could have talked about it. Lexa could have come with her. Well that probably wasn't possible. The commander doesn't take a vacation. The people inside told her that her mother was in the airlock treating a patient. When she stepped inside the airlock her mother wasn't there and neither was the patient. She just turned around to leave when the doors shut and locked themselves. Emergency protocol was in effect. Clarke frowned and looked thru the glass for other people but couldn't find anyone. On second glance this hall seemed extremely clean. Nobody has used it in a while. Idiot she said to herself you're standing in the wrong airlock. Using the small panel inside she tried opening the airlock but it was still in emergency protocol modus. She'll have to wait until that was over. What was even happening out there? She tried banging on the glass but nobody came. Well as long as she's stuck here she might as well think about Lexa.

Not that she had much choice anyway. Images of the beautiful girl filled her mind. How pretty could a person be? She played with the strand of dark hair that she braided into her own blond hair. After a magical night they both removed a strand of her and braided them in each others hair. Such a romantic moment they shared. She never expected that from the strong Heda. But then again there were a lot things that Lexa did she never saw coming.

 _Meanwhile at the gates of Arkadia_

Lexa jumped down and walked to the gate. It had opened up just enough to let Lexa inside. She had her sword in hand and was ready to fight every single person that came at her. Walking in alone might seem like a bad idea but she knew very well that her warriors would break thru the walls with little effort. She faced Octavia "where is she?"

"What did you think we did?" Octavia said now getting furious herself "she is one of us!"

"You capture your own for revenge. You disgust me" Lexa spat.

Octavia wiped her face clean and growled "I'd love nothing more than to slice your throat wide open. But I'm sure she'd have my head in a box if I did so"

Kane and Lincoln were more than confused. Octavia turned around and marched towards the ark with Lexa following her. They looked around for Clarke eventually finding sitting down against the wall of the locked airlock. Octavia looked confused but couldn't say anything because Lexa already knocked her down and had the tip of her sword pressed against her neck.

"Lexa! No!" Clarke screamed and banged on the glass.

Lexa looked at her not moving her sword "It has to be done"

"No Lexa stop! What the hell are you doing?"

"They're celebrating your capture" Lexa said pressing her sword against Octavia's neck just breaking into the skin drawing blood.

"My capture?" Clarke looked at Lexa confused "they're celebrating my return"

Lexa looked confused which was the wrong moment for Octavia to grin. Lexa moved her sword and knocked Octavia out with the flat side.

"Lexa!" Clarke yelled and kicked against the glass.

Lexa moved to the glass and looked at Clarke "a messenger told me the sky people captured you plotting revenge"

"So you just march in here ready to kill?" Lexa wasn't sure what to say now. She totally messed up and she knew it. Going out here and telling her army to retreat without drawing blood will show weakness. "Why did you even come here?" Clarke asked.

"For you"

"You think coming in here and knocking out my friend is helping. Wait what did you do out there?" Clarke panicked "did you kill someone?!"

"No!" Lexa said hurt that Clarke would think that but knowing it was her intention. "My army is surrounding the camp"

"What the hell!" Clarke kicked the glass again "get met out of here now before they do something stupid"

"How?"

Clarke sighed "there's a panel on your left. You'll see numbers. Press 5429" Lexa followed Clarke's directions and luckily the door opened. Well at first when Clark punched Lexa she wasn't feeling so lucky anymore. "You deserved that" Clarke stepped past her and kneeled down next to Octavia trying to wake her up. Octavia grunted and stirred. Clarke knew she'd be fine now and wake up in a little while. Probably with a bad headache but she'll live.

She moved over to Lexa who was holding her bleeding nose "what the hell were you thinking?"

"my messenger.." Lexa started but Clarke didn't let her finish.

"Your messenger was wrong." Clarke stormed off outside where the tension was rising. She walked over to the group of men by the gate that consisted of Kane, Lincoln, Bellamy and some guards. Abby and Raven were standing off by the side looking just as tense. "Don't make a move. I'll settle this" Clarke said and headed towards the gate. Lexa had followed her outside and when she came in view of the army they saw her bloody nose and blood covered hands. The army erupted in shouts and started moving closer to the walls surrounding Arkadia.

"Move back!" Lexa's words sounded powerful in her native language as they thundered thru the air. The warriors froze and looked at each other a little confused. Lexa moved to the group that had formed by the gate "I promised my army blood"

"Well they won't get it will they" Clarke crossed her arms at Lexa.

Kane stepped between the two "What is happening?"

"Apparently the commander thought you all captured me to execute me. She thought you were celebrating my capture and surrounded us"

"That's ridiculous"

"I know." Clarke looked at Lexa "what now?"

"My army retreats when you and I walk out that that gate"

"I have no reason to come with you"

Lexa stepped closer to Clarke "please come home with me" she whispered making herself feel very vulnerable.

Clarke shook her head "you should have trusted me"

"You shouldn't have left me." Lexa said and headed for the gate.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I honestly can't believe the view numbers are still rising every minute. Seems that you guys like this story. I'll continue writing it as long as I can. Can you PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW?**

 _Meanwhile at the gate of Arkadia_

Lexa's words hit Clarke harder than she could describe. She looked at the girl covered in warpaint and blood. She really did a number on her nose. It actually looked a little crooked. Kane was looking at Clarke his eyes begging for a solution to this mess. She didn't know. She seriously didn't know what to do. Go back with Lexa and just stay at Polis the rest of her life? If you asked her a few months ago she would have said yes in a heartbeat but now she wasn't so sure.

Stepping back from the group she looked at the army that gathered around Arkadia. She couldn't quite make out their faces but one thing she did notice. There were a lot of warriors. When they marched on the mountain she had seen the large number of warriors Lexa had under her command. They all seemed to be here as well. Who was defending Polis if they were all her? Then she realized what happened. Lexa had been tricked. She swiftly turned and looked at Lexa.

"Who was the messenger?"

"That doesn't matter" Lexa said trying to keep her position above Clarke.

"It was someone from the Ice Nation wasn't it?" Clarke stepped closer to Lexa. "They told you that I was captured knowing you'd come from me. You fell right into their trap!"

"There is no trap" Lexa defended "I can trust Ki.." she stopped when Clarke laughed.

"Are you serious? You trusted KIng Roan to tell you the truth? You killed his mother for crying out loud." Clarke grabbed the rifle Bellamy was holding and loaded it making Lexa take a defensive step back and grab the hilt of her sword "While you and your entire army are here the Ice Nation is attacking Polis"

Lexa looked stunned. Could that be? Could she really have fallen into that obvious trap? Or was this a trap set up by Clarke? Her mind raced a mile a minute. She had to make a decision and she had to do it now. Clarke broke her out of her thoughts "If you retreat your army now we'll be happy to stand with you to defeat the Ice Nation driving them out of Polis. You have to decide now"

She made her decision. Lexa moved to the gate and shouted commands to her generals letting them know what was going on. The army looked distressed and started to erupt in chants. They chanted for Wanheda. Wanheda would free Polis. Together with Heda of course. They wouldn't forget their commander. Clarke meanwhile had turned to Kane and Bellamy telling them to mobilize everyone willing and capable to fight alongside them to free Polis. Bellamy ran off leaving Kane and Clarke.

"Is this a good idea? We might suffer heavy losses on our side"

Clarke nodded slowly "I know. But when we agreed to become the 13th clan we knew this could be part of it. Our people are ready"

Kane nodded "I trust you ambassador"

"Thank you chancellor" she nodded using his official title only because he used hers.

 _Meanwhile in Polis_

The few guards that stayed behind were no match for the overpowering number of Azgeda warriors. They managed to slay a few of them but in the end they were no match. The chaos began. Azgeda warriors started to set fires destroying several homes. The people left inside burning alive. The few who managed to run out of their houses were either captured or killed instantly. King Roan rode his horse thru Polis a satisfied smile on his face. His planned had worked perfectly. He remembered a time before the sky people came. His mother was talking about defeating the commander and taking her place all the time. Back then he was just a young guy chasing after every woman in the village and honestly beyond that. One night he was listening in on an important meeting. His mother told him not to be present and that got his curiosity. She was whispering to a man he didn't know about the commanders secret. Her weakness. Roan was surprised when the commanders weakness had a name, Costia. Not much later the Queen send out a party to find Costia and bring her back to her. The torture that followed was the first real tortured he witnessed and was part of. The Queen personally beheaded her and send it by messenger to Lexa. After that everything went downhill for the Ice Nation. Killing his mother was his breaking point. The commander will pay.

He stopped in the middle of the market square where some men were tied up. He jumped of his horse and looked at them "Who do we have here?" He asked the guards watching them.

"They turned their weapons on us"

Roan looked at the man sitting in front of him "so they're turning their weapons on their new commander" he looked at his guard "Tell me. Is that a smart move of them?"

"No commander"

Roan grinned "lash them to death. Make sure they suffer long" he turned his back and walked to the tall white building. Time to take what belongs to him. The doors are opened by two of his generals and he doesn't hide his grin as he enters the hall. Finally he is were he belongs.

 _Meanwhile in the woods_

Kane and Bellamy were able to mobilize their army much faster than Clarke anticipated. Her mother came to talk to her and she wasn't done talking "what are you doing Clarke?"

"We're going to stand with the commander to defeat the army of the Ice Nation that is probably already in Polis"

"You didn't call her Lexa" Abby stated. She clearly hasn't stopped paying close attention to her daughter that's for sure.

"She the commander. That's her title" Clarke didn't look her mother in the eye. She know very well why she wasn't calling Lexa by name. She needed to distance herself from love to fight this fight. Inside she knew that her love for Lexa was still there and she wanted nothing more than let herself feel those feeling but she knew the price. She put the last things in her bag and looked at her mom "I have to got"

She took one step and Abby grabbed her arm "tell her the truth. I never got the chance to tell you the truth about your dad myself and I still regret it"

Clarke looked at her mother a little stunned. One thing she was sure about with her mother is that Abby wasn't a big Lexa fan. She couldn't think of an accurate response and headed out to the gate where she joined the rest of the men and women willing to fight "let's march"

They followed Lexa's army into the woods heading for Polis. Octavia caught up with Clarke and looked at her "how did you figure this out?"

"I was looking at the army remembering the time I saw the entire army for the first time when we defeated the mountain men. The army was the same size. I asked myself who was defending Polis and then it just clicked"

"What clicked?"

Clarke sighed "back when we first got here I remember Lexa telling me about her second, Costia and how queen Nia murdered her thinking Costia was Lexa's weakness. That the death would crumble here making place for queen Nia to become commander"

"But it didn't"

"Exactly. Leaving queen Nia still lusting for her place as commander. She never stopped looking for Lexa's weakness. She couldn't find it until the moment Lexa had to battle Roan"

Octavia thought for a moment and looked at Clarke "you" she said and Clarke confirmed her answer with a nod. "But Lexa murdered queen Nia. So who's doing this?"

"King Roan"

"But his banishment was lifted by Lexa and she spared him. Why would he try to remove her from command?"

"She killed his mother. As much as he hated her he wants revenge"

"For killing someone he hated?"

"You mother and brother locked you up for years. When you arrived you hated her and Bellamy for doing so. Would you take revenge for their deaths if someone murdered them?" Clarke asked. Octavia kept quiet but Clarke knew the answer. You'll always want revenge for the murder of loved ones. Wanheda knows this.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you for your reviews keep them going. Next chapter will feature a lot of power Lexa. Power to Lexa!**

 _Meanwhile in Polis_

Roan looked at the throne standing in front of him. The symbol of power. He walked over to it and sat down. The man he brought with him stood in the hall looking at their King now commander.

"All embrace me, it's my time to rule at last. Years have I been waiting to sit upon my throne. I will swear no oath. To no alliance. I am crowned by God not by blood. I proved myself in battle, I led you all to victory. I know I was destined to rule alone. All for myself I have claimed the throne." he spoke loudly to his man. His face got more serious and he stood taking a few step towards them.

"No man alive or dead commands me, I answer to the Lord. To nobody else. Hear my orders, question me and die. What I say was said in heaven, and so it shall be done. Make everyone bow to my will!" he commanded them and sat down again. He looked at his man standing ready at his command. To do what he commands. What a powerful feeling this is.

 _Meanwhile in the woods_

They travelled a lot of ground fast. The army was nearing Polis. Scouts that had travelled by horse in front of the army already reported that the suspicions were true. Ice Nation was attacking Polis. Azgeda warriors were already murdering every single person they saw. They wanted Polis occupied by their own and just their own. Lexa obviously got agitated. She failed her people over some feelings. Turns out Titus was right after all. Love is weakness. She looked back over her shoulder and saw Clarke walking in front of her people. She is the reason Polis suffers. She made the commander weak. Her brain repeated that message over and over. But all her heart wanted was to run in Clarke's arms and hide from the harsh reality.

Suddenly the army stopped. They were just out of sight of the people in Polis. They needed their rules of engagement. Lexa moved onto a rock to tower over the crowd. It's time to be the Heda she was born to be. She pulled her sword and held it high into the air the shiny metal glistening against the sun "we take back Polis! Everyone Ice Nation is a target. Mercy shall not be given tonight! Blood must have blood!"

The army cheered and started to chant their battle cries. Clarke looked back at her people "you heard the commander. We fight alongside them. If you're not prepared to give your life on the frontline prepare cover fire"

Clarke turned and kept the sword Lexa had someone make especially for her. She moved herself thru the warriors and stepped in front of the army taking place next to Lexa. They looked at each other but stayed silent. This needed to be done. The whole group started running. Heading to Polis. They were in sight of the enemy now and ready to fight. Spending time in Polis with Lexa she knew Polis like the back of her hand. Followed by a small group of her people she moved to flank the main square. She let out a made up battlecry and attacked the group of warriors. Some of the warriors recognized her word quickly spread that Wanheda was here fighting.

 _Meanwhile in Polis_

Roan was sitting on the throne enjoying his victory when battle cries sounded from outside. He ran onto the balcony and looked down at Polis. Two armies were clashing together. He recognized Lexa's army. There were other people to. He grabbed a looking glass and noticed it were the sky people. He cursed and moved back inside grabbing his swords and running outside. A commander will fight along his people. That's what a commander does.

He moved down to the main square that now turned into a battleground. Looking around he was proud of his warriors they were holding strong. Proving their worth. But even he had to admit that TriKru was putting up a good fight. Letting out his battle cry he jumped into the middle of the fight. His battlecry got the attention of Lexa who was fighting like an animal. She ran thru the fights heading for Roan. He saw her coming and stepped aside in time.

He grinned and raised his sword "come your death?"

"You're a disgrace" she spat her words out and swung her sword at him.

Swift as he was he dodged it. He wielded his sword and hit her side. The feeling of triumph flowed thru him. He was defeating the her without any problems. This just proves he was born to rule. Being a nightblood is a bloodright but that's not proof of a good commander. Watching Lexa stumble backwards fueled his mind. He is the rightful commander.

His warriors screaming behind him drew his attention away from the stumbling Lexa in front of him. He turned to find Wanheda heading for him. Many dead soldiers at her feet. Blood was spattered against her face and clothes. She looked murderous. How great would it be if he could defeat Wanheda in front of everyone. That would be quite a sight.

Raising his sword he accepted her battle. Ready to slit her throat. Feelings of joy bubbled up inside him. The idea of killing not only Wanheda but also Lexa's weakness making sure to defeat her forever. Leaving her alive to be tortured by her loss of everything.

Why wasn't she moving? He looked at her standing perfectly still. He jumped forward a little trying to taunt her. She stayed perfectly still. The arrogance. Roan lifted his chin and looked at her. He raised his sword and charged. At the last moment Clarke moved and defended herself by clashing their swords and kicking Roan against the shin. This won't be as easy as he thought. The blood inside him started boiling. His fighting spirit begged to come out. A fight broke out between them. A battle that has never seen his equal. Slowly the fighting around him stopped. He wasn't able to see who won.

Slowly he got tired. The girl had spirit he'd give her that. Her arm moved to her side where a gun was holstered. A sky people weapon. He moved his sword to cut of her hand. She anticipated it and stuck her sword deep in his chest. The pain was unbearable. He dropped to his knees. His inside were burning. On his knees he looked up at Wanheda "poison?"

She grinned. Her white teeth in contrast against her blood spattered face. "I'll close your side and watch you die slowly" she spat in his face.

Fight you fool! He could hear his mother's voice echo in his head. Behind him Lexa walked to him "seize him!" she looked at her warriors.

"No!" he tried to get up on his feet "I am in command" his mothers words still echoing in her head. "I was chosen by God!"

"Shut up!" Wanheda's foot came close to his face and kicked the light out of his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you very much for all the reads. Keep the reviews coming.**

 _Meanwhile in Polis_

While her warriors and the sky people were cleaning out the main square Lexa made her way inside feeling defeated if they won. She hadn't noticed Clarke followed her inside.

"Hold up" Clarke said and speeded up to catch up to Lexa. She didn't take a moment to wash off all the blood that was splattered on her face. It was hard to see Clarke like this. She looked like Wanheda, not her Clarke.

"Shouldn't you be outside helping your people?"

"I wanted to see if you were alright" Clarke fumbled with the sleeves of her shirt.

Who was she to come asking if she was alright now? She abandoned her before and when she came for her she acted like an asshole. Right now Lexa was more than angry "I am fine. You can leave" she looked at Clarke trying hard to keep the feelings down.

"Lex.." Clarke spoke softly and reached for her hand.

She stepped back "I have to arrange Roan's integration before he dies of the poison" Lexa stormed off leaving a confused Clarke behind. When she turned she caught a look of herself in the mirror. Blood spattered on her face and a few bruises that started to show made her look like a savage. She sighed and went outside to help her people. They all looked the same, distraught. Coming to earth they had seen their fair share of horrible things. But the sight of all this seemed to much. Burned bodies were transported to a mass grave in the woods. Nobody was able to identify them.

Clarke started to help them. She might be the ambassador but she was still just one of the sky people. They needed her help right now. While she helped her people she also tried to offer comforting words. Bellamy came over to her. He was bruised up but not too injured. A wave of relief washed over her. Bellamy was an important factor in her live. He pulled her into an embrace which she happily returned "I am glad you're okay"

"We fought well. You can be proud of them Clarke"

"I am" she looked at the village that already looked a little better. Most of the dead bodies were removed and they started to rebuild the houses.

Bellamy looked at Clarke "you should wash up. You look kinda scary"

Clarke nodded and headed back into the building. She didn't want to wash up. She looked like the person she had become. This is Wanheda.

 _Meanwhile in the dungeons_

Lexa moved to cell where Roan was chained to the wall. His injury was burned so it'll stop bleeding. The poison was burning inside him and he tried to hide it. Lexa saw right thru him. She stepped into the cell and took of her armour "you made a big mistake"

"I took what was mine" Roan groaned.

Lexa swung her first at him and knocked out one of his teeth. "You have no right to be become the commander"

"A commander is chosen by God not by blood"

Lexa swung again hitting him in the teeth again. She grabbed his hair and held up his head "who is this God you speak of"

"The only one who can judge me. He will be my savior"

"Your savior is nowhere to be seen now."

Roan grinned "the Lord is in my heart foolish girl"

Lexa punched him in the face a few times knocking him out. "Bring me a bucket of cold water. I am not done with him"

A guard ran to the hall where there was a well filled with dirty ice cold water. He quickly headed back to his commander and threw the bucket of water in Roans face. He came by again coughing. Lexa was furious. Not only about Roan trying to take her position as commander and him murdering all her people thinking they were safe in Polis but also about Clarke. His plan endangered Clarke and their relationship. She wanted revenge on the ice nation and the person that steered Roan to do this. This God person he was talking about. She moved her punches to his gut close to his wound making him scream in agony. After a while she started to notice the poison taking over his body. He slowly started to die.

Between the screams of pain he tried to speak "Our Father, which art in heaven" Lexa struck him in the gut with her knee making him groan but continue anyway " hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come." Lexa stepped back to watch the poison burn in his veins "thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven" his legs started to twitch. He had no control over them as they slammed against the wall. "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors" he looked up at Lexa for this for a short moment. His head slammed against his chest again "and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil". At this moment his arms started to twitch causing the battle chains to cut deeper in his skin "for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory" he struggled to mumble these words out. With his last breaths he let out the last word "for ever and ever"

She looked the man that tried to claim her throne feeling no better than she did before "leave him" she spoke to the guard who was unchaining the corpse "let him roth her". Spitting in his face she left the dungeons. Polis has to be rebuilt as soon as possible. It has to be strong. Other clans might get ideas now that the Ice Nation came so close. Walking down the hall to the main entrance a man collided with her. She huffed "watch it!" stepping back she recognized Titus.

"I am sorry Heda" he bowed.

Lexa realised that she hadn't seen Titus the whole time she was back in Polis "where have you been Titus?" she asked suspicious.

"When the Ice Nation attacked I accompanied the nightbloods to a safe place Heda" he said and looked at her "I felt it was my duty"

She nodded "you did good Titus. Now make sure we can rebuilt as fast as we can. The sky people will assist you as well" His face changed a little when she mentioned she sky people but he went outside to help. Lexa stood on top of the steps of the building looking at her warriors working with the sky people to rebuild everything. Clarke wasn't among them. Lexa knew that she shouldn't care but she just couldn't help herself. The town was empty. Every occupant was slaughtered to death. Polis had to be occupied soon. Polis has to stand strong. She made a quick decision "Everyone!" she announced and watched everyone gather in front of the steps "we fought well today. If you want to make Polis your home you are welcome to stay. Including SkaiKru. Polis has to be strong! We stand strong!"

In the crowd she found Clarke. She hadn't taken a moment to wash up in compare to the other sky people. It wasn't Clarke standing there. It was Wanheda.

 **A little tease for the next chapter. Lexa goes to hunt down God and the Ice Nation. Clarke realises something and may regret every single decision she made.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I really wanted to take a moment to thank every single one of you. You made me believe in my writing skills again and that means the world to me. I hope you will keep reading this. Please leave a review :)**

 _Meanwhile in a little hut_

Clarke set up her camp in one of the small huts. She didn't want to sleep near Lexa. If Lexa would even accept that. Before laying down to rest she decided to wash her face. The now completely dried up blood came off fairly easy. Her hair was still a big mess but that only could be fixed by either a lot of work or simply cutting it off. Even in the blonde mess that was her hair she was able to find the dark strand of hair. Thinking back she tried to remember if Lexa still had the blonde hair in her dark hair. She couldn't remember. Her and Lexa didn't have a lot of private time. Lexa shot her down when she tried to talk. She had every right to be upset. Clarke just abandoned her one night and everything went downhill from there.

Outside she heard footsteps. They stopped in front of the hut and she heard a voice softly call for her. Suspiciously she stood up and moved to the entrance "who is there?"

"It's me" Octavia stepped into the light of the candle Clarke had lit "I heard you were here but I was hoping it wasn't true"

"What to do you mean?" Clarke asked and sat down again motioning Octavia to do the same.

Octavia sat down and handed Clark some dried meat "I hoped you'd be with Heda"

Clarke looked at Octavia "Why would you hope that?"

"It's Clear that you two love each other. Otherwise she wouldn't be marching to Arkadia with her entire army thinking you were in danger."

"You don't know what happened before that"

"Enlighten me then" Octavia leaned back. She wasn't going anywhere. Clarke sighed. She and Octavia weren't exactly bff's but they had grown closer than they were. Snatching up another piece of the dried meat to give her some time Clarke started to tell everything to Octavia. How she missed Arkadia and everyone there and therefore left Lexa. How she felt angry with Lexa's actions that followed but also how she regretted it. She left out the part where she started feeling more and more like Wanheda and less like Clarke kom SkaiKru. Octavia had listened patiently ignoring the tears that occasionally streamed down Clarke's face.

"You're a real bitch Clarke" the harsh words Octavia spoken now didn't measure up with the soft way she paid attention to her before.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me" Octavia said and crossed her arms "you're a bitch. I seriously didn't think you could be this big a bitch to Heda"

Clarke tried to be offended by Octavia's words but she knew very well that Octavia was right. She was being a real bitch to Lexa. Sure she missed her home in Arkadia but she should have talked to Lexa about it. It's not like Lexa held her in captivity. Clarke groaned and covered her face with her arms "I am such a bitch"

"That's what I said. In a relationship you talk you don't ignore it till you fight about it" Octavia stated

Clarke removed her arms and quirked her eyebrow at Octavia "Did I just get relationship advice from you?"

Octavia shuddered a little "I guess you did. Don't tell anyone about this" she pointed her finger at Clarke.

"Wouldn't dare" she held up her hands in a defensive stance. They both laughed. Inside Clarke felt a little warm. Like her heart started to melt a little. The recent events made her feel like a stone cold person. They made her feel like Wanheda.

The two women sat together in silence for a while munching on the dried meat. Both strong warriors who knew how to handle themselves in battle but when it came to emotions they were pretty much clueless.

 _Meanwhile in Arkadia_

Abby was nervous. She hoped Clarke would come back with the rest of the people after their battle in Polis. When people caught sight of the sky people army returning Abby hurried herself to the gate. No girl with blonde hair among them. Clarke stayed in Polis or worse. She bit her nails when Kane entered the gates. He immediately addressed his people telling them who they've lost. Clarke wasn't among them. That means she stayed. Abby felt a little bit relieved. Clarke must have made the right choice.

"Abby?" Kane's voice shook her out of her thoughts "We have brought back a few wounded. Will you tend to them?"

"Yes of course" she went into Dr. Abby mode and it all went on auto-pilot. To her surprise Bellamy was among them. He stood up and limped to the examination table. She looked at him worried making him grin.

"You should see the other guy"

"I prefer not to." She started to help him with his wounds stitching up the deep ones "Did you see Clarke?" She asked trying to ask it in the most casual way.

He nodded "she fought like a lion. You should be proud"

"Proud at my daughter murdering a bunch of people? I am so proud" she said sarcastically.

 _Meanwhile in Lexa's room_

She was sitting on her bed looking around. The room didn't feel the same. It was clear that Roan or his men had been in here. The sketches Clarke made and Lexa treasured were now just a pile of ashes. When she first laid eyes on this she was so angry her eye actually started twitching. If someone had walked into the room they would have been very unlucky. Other things in her room were broken or burned as well but that didn't hurt so much.

She went on performing her usual rituals before going to bed. She unbraided her hair letting it flow down her back. Washed her face with the war paint removed she looked like a totally different person. A knock on the door drew her attention away from her reflection. She just came around the corner when the door opened. It reminded her of the first time Clarke and her made love. This time it was Titus entering with a good looking young man. Looking at him Lexa guessed him a few years older than she was. Titus bowed his head "Heda I apologize for the late disturbance but this man insisted on seeing you"

"I thought I told you all of it could wait for tomorrow" she said annoyed to Titus the last thing she wanted was to be interrupted.

Before Titus could speak the young man spoke up "my apologies Heda. I was the one who insisted. Titus here is not to blame"

Oh he sure is to blame Lexa growled in her head. She sighed "sit down" motioning to her sofa. The young man nodded and sat down grinning at Lexa. She shooed Titus out of the room "this time I mean it. No further interruptions" Titus nodded and stepped into the hallway. When the door closed he smiled. His plan was working perfectly. With Clarke out of the way the path was free for him to introduce a better mate to his Heda if she insisted on being with someone.

"I expected a warmer welcome from you" the young man said.

Lexa sat down beside him and leaned into his chest "I am sorry Kalem"

"That's better" he said and wrapped her arms around Lexa.

 **Who the hell is this? I hear you wonder. I am pretty sure you'll all be surprised. We haven't seen a lot of power Lexa yet but Clarke is beginning to see the error in her ways and is ready to apologize. Will Lexa accept this? Would you accept an apology if someone treated you like this? Guess you'll have to wait and see ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I can't thank all of you enough. You just keep reading while I keep on writing. Please leave me a review. Enjoy this chapter and brace yourself for the next.**

 _Meanwhile in Lexa's room_

She was standing on the balcony staring at the empty streets. Polis will be occupied soon again she said to herself. When she returns from the Ice Nation Polis will be occupied again. With everyone willing to move her. Well everyone except Ice Nation. The laws clearly say that the entire clan will be erased for the crimes their king committed. A mass murderer. Lexa shivered and went back inside.

She asked Clarke to accompany her to the Ice Nation hoping it'll be better with her there. They haven't spoken a word since the battle for Polis but the fact that Clarke had accepted her invitation made her feel better.

A knock on the door caught her attention. The door opened and Kalem entered in warrior armour. He made a little pirouette "tell me Heda how do I look?"

"Like a warrior" Lexa smiled and walked over to him straightening his shoulder gear "I told you to call me Lexa"

"Sorry Lexa. I just like calling you Heda" he shrugged and moved his thumb over her warpaint "this is nice. This your way of wearing make-up?"

"Stopt that" she brushed his hand away and blushed a little.

He chuckled and sat down on the sofa "so what's the plan for today?"

"We meet up with Clarke and ride in front of the army to the Ice Nation. I hope to get there early in the morning. We will ride all night"

"I finally get to meet the famous Clarke you can't stop talking about"

Lexa huffed "I don't talk about her that much". Before Kalem could open his mouth again Lexa opened the door "we should get going". They headed outside where Clarke was already waiting by the horse. She frowned when Lexa and Kalem walked out together.

"Who's this?" Clarke looked at the guy who held out his hand.

His teeth seemed to white to be a grounder when he smiled "you must the famous Clarke. Heard an awful lot about you. The name is Kalem"

Lexa slapped his arm when he mentioned that he heard a lot about Clarke. "What?" He said rubbing his arm "you couldn't stop talking about her last night"

Clarke quirked her eyebrow "last night?" Did Lexa and Kalem spend the night together? Clarke wondered feeling jealous. Lexa huffed at the remark and mounted her horse.

Kalem quickly followed her example mounting his horse with ease and grace. He took position next to Lexa leaving Clarke to tag along behind them when they rode the small trails to the Ice Nation. Lexa and Kalem seemed to have an awful lot of fun. Not even Clarke had never seen her smile this much. She was so focused on Kalem and Lexa that she didn't notice Octavia catching up to ride next to her.

"Who's the stud?" She asked.

Clarke looked at her "who?"

"The handsome guy riding next to Lexa" she nodded at him "come Clarke you're not that into Lexa that you don't notice how hot other people can be"

Clarke gave Octavia a death stare "not my type"

"Yeah right" Octavia huffed. She was wise enough to keep her mouth shut after that. When night started to fall they moved onto wider trails. Clarke took the oppurtinty to pull up next to Lexa. She moved close to her making Kalem slow his horse down and take position next to a now very flustered Octavia. Lexa gave Clarke a look but didn't say anything.

"So what's the plan?" Clarke asked seeing the lights of the Ice Nation in the far distance.

"You don't want to know"

"I do. Otherwise I wouldn't have asked"

Lexa looked at Clarke. In the twilight the war paint on her face made her look terrifying "everyone of the Ice Nation will receive the death penalty. The clan will be erased."

Clarke shivered a little "so one mass murderer for another?"

Lexa didn't answer but Clarke knew the answer to her own question. It were the laws the ground obliged to. Whether Lexa liked them or not she had to keep them enforced. Clarke couldn't judge anyway. Being part of the 13 clans she had to oblige to the laws as well.

They moved closer to the Ice Nation and in the last open field Kalem took opportunity taking position at Lexa's right side again. While Clarke dropped back again she kept observing the two. Kalem had taken Lexa's hand and was holding it as they moved closer to the Ice Nation. Octavia was falling asleep in the saddle but when Clarke slapped her arm she woke up instantly "do you see that?" Clarke hissed at Octavia.

"They're holding hands"

"Why is he holding her hand?" Clarke said and looked at Octavia. She was just about ready to throw her knife in Kalems back.

Octavia shrugged "don't know. Maybe they're a thing" she looked over at the very angry Clarke riding beside her "so you do want her back" a little triumph in her voice.

Clarke nodded not trusting that the words that would have come out of her mouth would have been nice.

 _Meanwhile in one of the Ice Nations homes_

They were sitting by the fire together. His hands were wrapped around hers. They knew what was coming. Their foolish king brought this on them. Thinking he had some kind of superpower on his side he just marched into Polis. What was he thinking.

He moved his hands up to her face to wipe away the tears of fear. Every day they got now was just an extra day.

They just moved into this little house together ready to start a family of their own. Their bonding ceremony was very beautiful. One of the last ones to be witnessed by the king. He congratulated the both of them and wished them a fruitful life together. She laid her hand gently on his cheek "Thjodoft" she whispered his name softly "I am glad I got to spend my life with you". Her icy blue eyes stared at him with all the love in the world. She wasn't afraid anymore. She was with the man she loved so dear.

He turned his head and placed a gentle kiss on the inside of her hand "I love you Yrsa". He barely finished his words when outside all hell broke lose. She was here. Heda was here.

 **Time for another battle. This won't be pretty kids I'll warn you up front. But at least Clarke realized she wanted Lexa back. Finally am I right? Or are there some Lexem shippers already?**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Some amazing reviews which I am very gratefull for. I hope this chapter will please you and that you enjoy reading it. Please leave me a review and I'll try to keep my schedule of posting a chapter a day (according to my local time).**

 _Meanwhile in Ice Nation territory_

Clarke expected everyone to start fighting as soon as they came near to the Ice Nation but everything went very calm and organised. People were rounded up from the outside of the towns. People living in the town came out of their house and stood there in silence. Some of them cried others simply stared at the commander and her army. Lexa took her spot in the middle of town and looked at everyone. She wondered which of these men was the God person Roan had spoke of. Would he be courageous enough as to show his face here. Slowly there came more and more people her warriors rangeling them up from all the small villages in the Ice Nation territory.

"Which of you is God?" She yelled looking around at the people. They looked around confused. She asked again. And again. And again. Clarke was riding the open fields looking for people who tried to hide. She caught a few men who figured hiding in the open field covered with leaves would keep them safe. When she entered town she heard Lexa yelling out a name. She frowned recognizing the name. On her horse she was able to maneuver thru the crowds a little faster and stopped next to Lexa "what are you doing?"

"Do not interfere Clarke" Lexa answered looking at her with fire in her eyes. She continued yelling for the name and calling random men to be brought to her.

Clarke grabbed Lexa's arm "Lexa! God is non-existent. It's a religious belief"

Lexa stared at Clarke "explain."

"We learned about him on the 's a book about it and everything. He is a non-existent person. People find faith in him or go crazy and hide behind his name"

"You're telling me that Polis was slaughtered by a mad man?" Lexa asked.

Kalem had joined the woman "what's going on? Did you find him?"

"He doesn't exist" Lexa looked at Kalem.

His face turned white and he swallowed. He looked scared "that means.."

Lexa nodded. Clarke had no idea what was going on and got frustrated "what's going on?!" She asked only to be ignored by Lexa. Then she announced for the killing to start. Kalem was getting nervous and steered his horse away. Clarke opened her mouth again but was silenced by Lexa "let me do my job"

With grace Lexa dismounted the horse and pulled her sword. She walked over to a small group of men that was kneeled down. One by one she slit their throats. Clarke felt her stomach turn watching Lexa do this. Hasn't she seen enough horror? Hasn't she seen enough pain? The bodies were dragged away to a giant fire in the open field and burned. Watching the fire she saw warriors bringing over babies and children. She didn't see any blood so they must have used a different method. Watching Lexa move she realized something. This was her Lexa. The Lexa she fell so hard for when they first met. The rough commander of the 12 clans. That was the person Lexa was and is. She deserved someone strong standing next to her. Heda deserved knew what she had to do.

Clarke walked up to a man and a woman sitting in front of a little house. The woman was on her knees begging for mercy while the man tried to comfort her. Looking over her shoulder she saw Lexa pushing her sword into another person's chest without any remorse. Clarke wanted to become like Lexa. She wanted Lexa to have the strong Wanheda next to her. Not the innocent blonde girl from SkaiKru. She knew that she had already changed. Lexa made her change. Just like Lexa she now had no soul.

Without thinking about it Clarke raised her sword and stabbed thru the woman who was begging for mercy. She pulled it out and stabbed it into the chest of the man standing behind the woman. Lexa looked over at Clarke her mouth slightly hanging open "Clarke!"

Clarke didn't stop and continued to slay the people of the Ice Nation. Lexa grabbed her arm "Clarke stop!"

Their eyes met and the beautiful blue eyes that Lexa loved had turned dark. They seemed almost black. "Stop what you are doing! This isn't you"

"This is me" Clarke said thru her teeth "you've taught me to lie without a trace. To kill with no remorse. You drew me into you and erased me. You have no soul and now neither do. Now I'm dead inside"

Lexa looked at Clarke totally surprised. This isn't Clarke. She knows who the real Clarke is and this isn't her "Clarke please.." she whispered.

Clarke stepped forward and moved her face close to Lexa "your crushed me. You pulverised me."

"You're not the woman I fell in love with" Lexa leaned forward and grabbed Clarke's hand pushing it against her heart "feel me now. I need you to see me for who I am." Clarke looked away trying to step back from Lexa "Open up to me. Stop hiding from me."

Then Clarke started to cry. The crying turned into sobbing "hold me please" she begged and whispered into Lexa's ear when they embraced "it's hurting babe. Please can you can stop the pain"

Lexa held Clarke an arm distance away looking for an injury. Seeing no blood except the Ice Nation blood on her hands she realized this was about pain on the inside. The pain of broken hearts and suffering. Lexa moved Clarke away from the dead bodies which was quite the walk into the woods. Clarke was still sobbing but it seemed like she had calmed down a bit.

Lexa wrapped Clarke back into her arms and kissed the top of her head "It'll be alright". Some warriors passed them giving the commander some looks but she didn't care at all. Clarke was more important than showing her strength. She rocked Clarke softly hoping she'd calm down. Right now Clarke was a very confused your woman. Lexa knew how that felt.

Being a nightblood she has been prepared to be one day be commander from the day she was born. I was a very confusing life. Being ripped away from your parents at a very young age not really understanding why. Always training and training. Being prepared to fight to the death. Killing the other nightbloods you came to see as a friend. The seven circles were burning in her back. She knows the mix of confusement and pain all to well. If Lexa could recover from it so could Clarke. She'll help her recover. Lexa stood there holding Clarke as the girl slowly calmed down while behind them the town bled and bodies burned.

 **For those of you who hate Titus as much as I do. Stick around ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I had a really hard time making this deadline I set for myself. I wanted to make good on my promise to keep posting a chapter a day (according to my local time). Hope you enjoy this one. PLEASE LEAVE ME A REVIEW!**

 _Meanwhile in Ice Nation territory_

Lexa and Clarke broke their embrace when Octavia came over asking for the commander to inspect their work. Reluctantly Clarke let go of Lexa's hand. She didn't want to be left alone.

"I don't want you to see this" Lexa said and asked Octavia to stay with Clarke. Octavia nodded and looked at Clarke. As Lexa walked away Octavia stepped closer and touched Clarke's shoulder. She wanted to help but wasn't sure how exactly.

Lexa headed to the center of the town looking around if she could see Kalem. He was nowhere to be found making her very nervous. If their secret got out things would get complicated. Without even thinking about it she rubbed her stomach softly to calm her nerves. With Indra she walked around town. She tried to be happy with the work her man did. She really did but it was so hard. A whole clan erased thanks to one mad man. It's a real shame. Her coalition of the 13 clans now was a coalition of 12.

Thanking Indra she quickly moved back to Clarke. She and Octavia had sat down at the stump of a tree and Octavia was talking. Even from a distance Lexa could see that Clarke wasn't even listening. Lexa gently laid a hand on Clarke's shoulder and guided her to the horses. She just wanted to go home to Polis. With her Clarke. They mounted their horses and rode off in front of the army. A small group of warriors followed for their protection.

 _Meanwhile in Polis_

They arrived at night. Clarke was half asleep on her horse and almost fell off when they came to a halt in front of the tower. When they arrive in the hallway that was just for the commander Lexa lifted Clarke up into her arms. The girl could barely stand on her feet. She didn't even have the strength to fight Lexa for lifting her up. All the energy was drained from her body. Lexa laid her down in her own bed. For a moment she doubted if she should undress Clarke but she voted against it. That might be a little much right now. She moved to her large bathroom to change out of her armor.

Looking in the mirror she sighed. There she stood in full armour. Is this who she was? Did Clarke really see a person without soul? A tear rolled down her cheek. Before she was moved to Polis to train as a nightblood her mother talked to her for hours. Trying to talk some sense into her young daughter. Give her advice. How not to turn into a heartless murdering commander. The 6 year-old Lexa promised her mother that she'd never become like that. But it took just a few weeks of training before that promised was literally knocked out of her.

After undressing herself she moved into her bed. All she wanted to do is cuddle up to Clarke but seeing that the girl was already sound asleep she remained on the other side of the bed not wanting to wake her up. The next morning they woke up entangled both not wanting to move afraid to disturb the other. Their morning snuggles were cut short by a knock on the door. A very disappointed Titus entered the room.

"Heda" he bowed his head "young man Kalem is here requesting to see you"

Lexa sat up in bed wondering if she could kill Titus just by looking at him "send him in after Clarke leaves"

When the door closed Clarke looked at Lexa "you want me to leave?"

"I don't want you to leave but I really have to talk to Kalem alone" Lexa looked down at her lap "I have something very private to discuss"

"Private? Even for me?"

"Yes even for you" Lexa rested her head against Clarke's. She felt her tremble a little. The girl obviously hadn't recovered from the events at the Ice Nation yet. Honestly she herself hadn't either. Killing an entire clan was something she only heard stories of. Years before her the commander had ordered to wipe out the clan of fire and ash. Living far away from Polis the clan of fire and ash started to make up their own laws and punishments. An act against their commander. When word got out an army marched to the clan wiping them out with their own name, fire. The people were thrown into the volcano to burn alive. Were Lexa had taken mercy on the children that commander definitely hadn't. Maybe it was because of her current situation but Lexa simply couldn't watch those kids suffer. Clarke left the room after a few more minutes of cuddling and Kalem almost immediately walked in.

"Excuse me? You could have given me a moment to get decent" Lexa said annoyed and quickly slipped into the bathroom to put on her clothes.

Kalem huffed "It's not like I haven't seen you like this before. Have you already forgotten?"

Lexa ignored his remark and sighed "what do you want?"

"I wanted to talk to you about the Ice Nation"

"What about it?"

"You know what I mean" he said getting frustrated "I am not going to spell it out for you"

"Why do you bring this up?" Lexa asked walking out of the bathroom while she tied her hair in a simple ponytail.

Kalem sat down on the sofa "you know what you have to do Lexa"

"I am not gonna do it" Lexa couldn't look Kalem in the eye. She knew perfectly well what she needed to do. She just couldn't do it. To calm herself down her nerves and frustration she laid a hand on her stomach and focused on it.

Kalem stood up and lifted her head so she was forced to look at them. Their green eyes met "if you are not gonna tell them I will."

"Please don't" Lexa said. The word 'please' feeling strange in her mouth. A commander doesn't say please to anyone.

"I have to. It has to be dealt with" he removed Lexa's hand from her stomach and squeezed it softly "it's time to take responsibility"


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I can't stop thanking all of you for reading this story. I am glad you all still like it. A little sad news is that I figured out the way I am going to end this one. Slowly I am working my way to that ending but there definitely will be a few more chapters before we are there. A little happy news is that I am working on another Clexa fanfiction. That will be a very dark one with an M rating. Maybe there's an AU in the future as well. For now leave me a review please and I'll see you all next time.**

 _Meanwhile in Clarke's room_

Changing out of her clothes she noticed the dried blood on her shirt. It almost made her throw up. Her whole body was shaking when she took it off and quickly let herself sink in the bath. She didn't care it was cold. She didn't care she had to scrub off that horrible feeling of death. Her skin was red and sensitive when she stepped out of the tub. Her clothes were still laying in the messy pile. She didn't even want to go near them. Instead she decided to crawl into the furs on her bed naked as the day she was born. Born in space to bring pain and death to earth so it seemed. The soft furs felt rough against her sensitive skin. Trying not to weep in pain she laid perfectly still eventually falling asleep again.

Stepping out of her room Lexa still felt the frustration. Kalem insisted on talking about the things she didn't want to talk and think about. It all took way too long and all this time Clarke was alone. Ignoring Titus who clearly wanted a word she hurried to Clarke's room. Opening the door she noticed Clarke was sleeping again. A little relief washed over her. Nothing happened to Clarke. Carefully she sneaked further into the room. She kicked off the combat boots and lifted up the furs to slip into bed with Clarke. When she lifted the furs heat rose to her cheeks. Clarke was in bed naked. The cold air against her bare skin woke up Clarke who mumbled and turned to face Lexa "what are you doing?"

Her face now very red Lexa started to stutter "I I I am s.. s.. sorry I didn't know you were naked"

"Stop being stupid" Clarke said a little grin on her face as she pulled Lexa close to her "nothing you haven't seen before"

Lexa smiled. Clarke wasn't mad at her. She moved close and wrapped herself around Clarke. She could feel Clarke's body relax into hers. Nuzzling her face in Clarke's neck she noticed how red the skin was "you're red"

"I may have scrubbed a little to hard in the tub"

"Why?"

Clarke swallowed and grabbed Lexa's hands for support. She didn't want to cry again. She wanted to be strong. Luckily Lexa didn't push the subject and started placing soft kisses in her neck.

 _Meanwhile in Kalem's room_

Titus knocked on the door. He wanted to make sure Kalem was staying in Polis. As close to Lexa as he could arrange. Kalem was sitting in a chair sharpening his knife. At least he wasn't packing up his stuff.

"I wanted to ensure your conversation with Heda was satisfying"

Kalem looked up at him. Something about Titus made him feel very uneasy. He wondered if Lexa had the same feelings around Titus. Putting away his knife he nodded "my conversation went well. I wouldn't exactly say it was satisfying"

"Anything I could assist you with?"

Kalem stood up and looked at Titus "maybe you can.." he stepped in front of Titus. Kalem was taller but he was sure Titus had some hidden strength under his robe. "Heda doesn't want to take her responsibility because of her attachment"

Titus held up his hand "say no more. I have been struggling with that as well"

Kalem frowned. Did Titus know? How could he know? Could he trust Titus? "Will you take care of it?"

"I will" Titus disappeared from the room. He almost danced outside of the room. Is plan worked. Pushing Kalem into Lexa's life to chase away Clarke. The woman clearly influenced his commander. Clarke had to be taken down and she had to be taken down fast. In his role as the most trusted advisor of the commander he would personally take care of it.

 _A few hours later on the market_

To distract herself Clarke decided to go to the market. It turned out to be a very bad idea. Once the people recognized her they all wanted to thank Wanheda and offer her presents. There was no escape from her actions. The people crowding her caused panic. Soon she was lost in the busy streets. Running around she bumped into multiple people. When two strong arms grabbed a hold of her she screamed.

"Woah calm down" Kalem said letting her go and covering his ears.

Clarke looked at him feeling ashamed that she freaked out on him "Sorry.."

"I can still hear. That's a good." he said removing his hands "you got quite the lungs on you"

"I thought I was in danger"

Kalem put her arm around his shoulders and moved them away from the crowds "they told me I could find you here. I need to talk to you about something"

"About what?" Clarke asked suspiciously not trusting him. She barely knew him but he was obviously closed to Lexa. They sat down on a tree stump and Kalem looked at her.

"Lexa is being very stubborn about her duties." Kalem started.

"She tends to does so. But why are you coming to me about it?"

"She listens to you" Clarke opened her mouth to protest "don't try and deny it everyone knows it's true"

Clarke nodded "so what is she refusing to do?"

"Law says that everyone belonging to the Ice Nation has to be eliminated. The Ice Nation bloodline has to be erased."

"It's a little late to fight that now. You were there when it happened. The bloodline has been erased."

Kalem shook his head "it hasn't"

Clarke sat up a little stranger very alert now "what are you talking about Kalem?"

Kalem was silent for a moment. He had to trust Clarke with this. To make sure she was going to influence Clarke into erasing the final person with the Ice Nation blood. Clarke was looking at him intensely. This was it. He looked around to make sure there was nobody around who would hear him whisper. He leaned closer to Clarke "there's one Ice Nation left"

"What?" Clarke looked at him "I don't believe you. I was there."

He grabbed her shoulders "you have to believe me. Lexa can't erase the bloodline because she is attached to the last one carrying Ice Nation blood. You have to convince her to erase the bloodline before anyone finds out"


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: It's very hard for me to keep updating this much. I am very busy and am probably getting the flu but I wanna do my best for you guys. Hang in here with me. It's getting very exciting. I am slowly working to the climax.**

 _Meanwhile in Lexa's room_

She was pacing around her room. Night had started to fall and Clarke still was nowhere to be found. Several guards had gone looking for her but not one had found her. Maybe she should go look herself. When she headed for the door the door opened and Clarke stepped in. Lexa immediately wrapped her arms around Clarke "you had me so worried"

"You don't have to worry. I am fine" Clarke said and leaned against Lexa.

"Where were you?" Lexa asked worriedly and brushed Clarke's hair back behind her ears.

Clarke looked down "I had a talk with Kalem"

"About what?" Lexa asked her body tensing up. Did Kalem tell Clarke about everything?

"I know there's still someone alive from the Ice Nation" Clarke said stepping out of Lexa's arms.

Lexa's face showed a stoic expression "you don't understand the situation Clarke"

"Then make me understand"

"I can't" Lexa turned and moved a few steps away from Clarke not daring to look to look her in the eye. She is overcome with emotions.

"Please Lexa tell me what is going on" Clarke stepped closer to Lexa and wrapper her arms around Lexa. Their hands intertwined and Lexa moves them to her stomach hoping to get some strength out of it.

"My parents met each other here in Polis. My father was Azgeda and my mother TriKru. They fell in love and went thru a bonding ceremony. My father abandoned the Azgeda and went to live in TriKru territory." Lexa paused for a moment and gathered herself again. "Their firstborn was a boy. The law says boys will carry on the bloodline of the father. So he became Azdega. Later I was born and as a girl I carried on my mother bloodline TriKru."

A silence fell as Lexa couldn't hold back her tears thinking back at her short childhood. She was moved to Polis as a 6 year-old when they found out she was a nightblood. "Last I heard was that my brother moved back to the Ice Nation when my parents had passed"

In her mind Clarke had started to put the pieces together. Kalem had showed up just before they move on the Ice Nation and was familiar with Lexa. "Kalem is your brother"

"I thought I had the solution with God. If he really had put Roan up to all this I could kill him and have mercy on the Ice Nation"

"That's why you were going all crazy looking for Him in the village"

Lexa turned to face Clarke "how can I kill my own brother Clarke?"

Clarke didn't know the answer to that question. She understood how hard this was for Lexa. She had to obey their laws and erase the Ice Nation bloodline but that would mean killing her brother as well. Who when Clarke thought back to their conversation seemed fine with that. She embraced Lexa hoping she could settle her down a little. They stood in silence for a while when Lexa asked the same question again this time really looking for an answer.

"Did you talk to him about it?" Clarke asked as she guided them to the bed so they could sit down.

Lexa sat down and sighed "the idiot wants me to obey the law and have him killed. He wants to die Azdega."

"Would you want to die TriKru if it came to this?"

"I would. But he's my brother Clarke. The only person I have left in this world"

"You have me" Clarke slowly rubbed Lexa's back "we'll figure this out. Together"

 _Meanwhile in Kalem's room_

He was playing with the sharp knife. If Lexa couldn't decide what to do he sure could. He was proud of his root. Being an Azgeda was something he was very proud of. If his bloodline was to be erased he had to fall as well. He loved Lexa. He was her big brother and even if he hid it for so long he was proud that she was the commander. Even when she was just 6 he had all the faith in the world in her.

Pressing the knife against his wrist he didn't want to be scared. He didn't want to be his coward. But he was following the commander's orders. De Azgeda bloodline was to be erased and so it shall be. With his blood the bloodline will end. Blood started to flow down his wrist slowly but steady. A knock on the door disturbed him. He didn't answer hoping that whoever it was would just leave. The knocking continued and he moved his arm behind his back hoping to hide the wound. He didn't have long but he would try.

Titus entered the room "I wanted to let you know tomorrow I will talk to Heda about her duties"

"Thank you" Kalem answered feeling he already got weak. Not being able to stand anymore he sat down "anything else?"

"Are you alright?" Titus asked. Kalem started to turn pale and it got harder and harder to breath. Kalem was unable to answer and dropped down to the floor. His arm fell down beside him displaying all the blood. Titus called for the guards "bring me Heda! And a healer!"

It didn't take long for Lexa to arrive of course with Clarke following close behind her "Kalem!" she dropped down beside him and shook him "wake up! Clarke do something!"

Clarke went into doctor mode and pushed Lexa out of the way. Kalem didn't have a pulse. She started CPR but noticed by doing so she was only spraying the blood faster out of his wrist. This wasn't good. Kalem was gone and she knew it. She stood back up and put a hand on her shoulder "he's gone Lexa"

Lexa stomped her hands on the floor "No no no!" she stood up and looked at Clarke "he did this because of me! Because I was to weak to do my duty!"

"Calm down Lex.." Clarke began trying to calm Lexa down. She didn't like to see Clarke like this.

Titus looked at the scene before him. When Kalem talked to him he wasn't talking about Clarke and Lexa. There was a different relation between Kalem and Lexa than he figured. Once again he was wrong. Kalem wasn't the answer to getting Clarke out of his way. Time to take matters into his own hands. He slipped away from the room leaving behind the two women who desperately tried to comfort each other. He didn't know that Clarke noticed him slipping away. Her feelings towards Titus were still doubtful. She didn't trust him at all. Something about this man was totally of.


	14. Chapter 14

_Meanwhile in Lexa's room_

Clarke was straddling Lexa trying to massage the tension and knots from her back. It took a long time before Lexa even let her do this. Since Kalem's death she has been more closed off than ever. Clarke hated that Lexa had returned to this state. Just when they both had started to feel better. Under her hands she could feel Lexa tensing up again. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on Lexa's neck "try to relax"

"I can't. I want to punch something" Lexa clenched her fists in the sheets.

Clarke sighed and stepped off Lexa "this clearly isn't going to work" she grabbed Lexa's hand and dragged her off the bed.

"Where are we going?"

"Ever heard of boxing?" Clarke grabbed some fabric and ripping it.

Lexa looked at Clarke confused "Boxing?"

"It's a sport." she wrapped the lint around Lexa's hands and then on her own hands.

"What kind a sport is it?"

"Trust me you'll love it" Clarke moved some of the furniture out of the way to make room for them. She waved Lexa over "no using your legs, no headlocks, no biting, safeword is pineapple"

"What are y.." before Lexa could finish her sentence Clarke threw a punch. Lexa blocked it and looked at Clarke with surprise. She just grinned and tried to hit Lexa again. After a while Lexa got the idea of what was boxing was and got into it. She was letting go of her rage. Slowly Clarke started to disappear before her. In front of her stood all the pain that has been caused to her over the years. Losing sight of Clarke her punches came more aggressive. Clarke had a hard time dodging the punches and defending herself against Lexa. She didn't want to give up to. It was clear that Lexa was healing in this moment. It went on just a little longer because Clarke tired out.

"Lex.." Clarke breathed heavily and was able to land a punch in Lexa's stomach hoping to break the moment Lexa was in. She was completely ignored tho. Her kneals started to feel weak and she was about to collapse. "Pineapple!" she said and sat down on the floor.

"Thank you" Lexa said breathing a little heavy "that helped"

Clarke smiled at Lexa not trusting her words at the moment. She was feeling totally worn out. Well that was the end of the myth about the indestructible Wanheda. Lexa helped her stand up and embraced her "thank you for this Clarke"

She winced slightly at the tight embrace her muscles aching and some skin starting to bruise "carefull there babe"

"Did I hurt you?" Lexa asked upset.

Clarke cupped the beautiful brunette's cheek and smiled "it's okay babe. Really." she placed a soft kiss on Lexa's lips.

 _Meanwhile in Titus his chambers_

He had called on his most trusted and gifted student. What he was about to do would be risky. If he was to fail his life would end. Heda would need a new advisor and Titus knew that the only person he could trust for that job was his student, Domitius. The boy was young but wise. Titus had received him as an infant and was able to mold him to his wishes.

The young man entered his chambers and bowed his head "you sent for me Titus"

"I did Domitius. Sit down. I have a matter to discuss" Titus motioned to one of the two wooden chairs.

"Is there something master?"

Titus sighed and poured them both a cup of wine "I believe you are aware of my thoughts about Heda living a solitary life. To focus on being commander and to focus on that only."

"I am master"

"The sky girl forms a distraction. Love is weakness and Heda refused to see it at this moment." Titus paused for a moment to gaze upon his student. "I plan to take care of the distraction. When things don't work out the way I plan them to Heda will new advisor"

"What do you plan to do master?" The young man looked a little shocked but not surprised at his master's plans.

Titus but his hand on Domitius his shoulder "it is best you do not know. Heda is going to need you"

Domitius kneeled in front of his master "I won't let you down my master" Titus touched the top of his head and told him he was excused. When Domitius left the room a boy slipped out with him. He was unnoticed by the men and ran thru the hall as fast as he could. His light steps barely sounding in the hall.

 _Meanwhile in Clarke's room_

Clarke left Lexa after their little boxing match. Lexa needed some time to proces all the emotions and she wanted to do that alone. Something Clarke could understand. She was sitting in her sofa finishing the drawing she made of Lexa earlier. She jumped a little when he door flew open and someone ran inside.

She recognized Aden who was breathing heavily "Wanheda!"

"Calm down Aden. You're going to pass out"

"I have to tell you something" he looked totally pale and scared.

Clarke pulled him to the sofa and sat him down "what's wrong Aden?"

"Titus. He made plans against you. I heard him and Domitius talk about it"

She knew he wasn't to be trusted. Now it was the time to take Titus down. He is messing with the wrong woman. "Do you know what he is going to do?"

Aden shook his head "Titus didn't want to tell Domitius"

"Thank you for telling me Aden"

"Are you going to tell Heda?"

Clarke shook her head "and neither are you. Lexa will not find about this. I will handle it"

Aden nodded and leaped into Clarke's arms "I don't want you to die"

Clarke moved Aden back a little and looked at him "I won't die Aden. I will take care of this. Don't you worry" she played with his hair. Titus will be mine. The spirit of Wanheda seeped back into her. It talked to her. Molding her like it did in Mount Weather. She will destroy Titus forever. This is the last time he influenced Lexa's decisions. Dominitus shall hear from her revenge and tremble. She shall destroy the both of them.


	15. Chapter 15

_Meanwhile in Arkadia_

Abby was pacing camp. It has been days since she last heard from Clarke. Her daughter had told her to trust her and that Polis was a safe place but Abby couldn't help but worry. Lexa being there didn't make things easier. The commander was a big target for multiple people and Clark would be the one to jump in front of Lexa. Abby knew her daughter well. The last time they talked Clarke had brought up a lot of medical connections. A lot of them about what could go wrong there and the deaths of patient. And now they hadn't spoken in days.

Raven left the radio room for a pee break. Abby blocked her path "where are you going?"

"I have to pee"

"What if Clarke reaches out while you're peeing?"

Raven looked at Abby annoyed "just grab the radio then and do the same thing as always."

Abby opened her mouth again but Raven shut up "if you're not gonna let me pee I will pee on you right now"

She stepped aside and went into the tent where they had set up the radio station. The radio kept silent. Abby stayed a little while longer after Raven had returned but the medbay soon needed her again. She tried to check on the radio as much as she could driving Raven crazy. When the night fell Abby stayed up alone in the tent watching over the radio. Slowly she was falling asleep when suddenly the radio started to crack. Abby shot up and quickly grabbed the radio.

"Hello?" A female voice that wasn't Clarke asked

"Who is this?" Abby asked worried.

"It's Lexa" the voice answered "is Clarke with you?"

"She is supposed to be with you" On the other side of the radio there were some words that sounded like curses "Lexa. What is going on?"

"Clarke left two days ago and hasn't returned"

"I am coming to Polis" with that Abby sprinted out of the tent.

 _Three days ago in Polis_

Clarke had a plan. First her plan was just to go full Wanheda on Titus his ass but that would probably have ended bad and not just for Titus. Knowing that Titus was plotting against her gave her the upper hand but she has to use it wisely. She had to act fast tho. Aden was a nervous wreck. Everytime he was near Titus or Lexa Clarke could see him tensing up and almost nearing his breaking point. In the three days that passed since Aden had told her she made a plan. A plan to get Titus alone and eliminate him.

Her plan worked perfectly when she Titus announced to Lexa that he would be visiting the Boudalan to discuss a treaty that would allow free trade between Polis and the Boudalan. Clarke would follow Titus and make sure that he'd never return to Polis. After that she would have to deal with Dominitus. Titus left early in the morning on his horse just like she anticipated. The first few miles she followed him on foot using the trees like Lexa taught her to do. In preparation she has hidden a horse in the woods so she would be able to keep up with Titus. Clarke had never travelled to the Boudalan but she was willing to improvise.

She had followed him for a few days observing him. Titus wasn't the fastest man but he protected himself well. He made sure that his camp was well lit, protected from the back and that he had enough meat so he wouldn't have to hunt. Clarke choose to follow him by foot again using the higher mountains by his advantage. Soon she'd strike. Make it look like an accident.

 _Meanwhile in Polis_

Abby came to Polis accompanied by Octavia. They both seemed furious. Indra clearly hadn't spent enough time training Octavia to keep her cool. Lexa actually was a little scared. She knew how much time Clarke has spent trying to convince Abby that Lexa would be a good partner and now she lost her. Lexa stood up from her throne when Abby and Octavia were brought in by her guards "Abby. Octavia. Welcome to Polis"

"Where the hell is my daughter?" Abby was fuming.

Lexa tried to keep her composure "I have send my best trackers out to find her. So far they haven't found a trace of her."

"What are we still standing here for?" Octavia said looking at Abby "We'll mobilize Arkadia and go out looking for her"

"And leave your camp unprotected?" Lexa stepped down and faced Octavia "Clarke wouldn't want you making hasty and wrong decisions"

Abby pushed Lexa back "you have no idea what Clarke would want"

Her guards had stepped forward but she waved them off "I understand your emotions. I am upset myself but I will not endanger others for her sake"

Abby sighed and looked at Octavia having a conversation without talking. Octavia left the room apparently heading out to search for Clarke. "Can we have a private conversation?"

Lexa send away her guards. When they had left she dared to relax a little more "what did you want to talk about?"

"I expected you to keep a better eye on Clarke. You convinced me she'd be safe here with you."

"Clarke has a mind of her own. You know that as well as I do."

"You promised me that she would be protected here. I trusted you my own flesh and blood." Abby said upset.

This was too much for her "Don't you think I wanted to protect Clarke? That I did every single thing I could do?" Lexa stepped closer to Abby making her move backwards "Don't you think I want to be out there looking for her instead of standing here? But I know that Clarke wouldn't want me to make the wrong decisions. Decisions that will put everyone else in danger!"

Abby looked at Lexa a little shocked. She had certainly seen the commander mad before but never like this. It was clear that Clarke meant as much to her as to Lexa. Without even thinking about it Abby stepped forward and embraced Lexa. She felt the girl tense up immediately. This clearly wasn't what Lexa had expected from Abby "I am sorry commander. My emotions got the best of me there."

Lexa unfroze and stepped out of Abby's embrace "you can call me Lexa."

 _Meanwhile in the high mountains of Boudalan territory_

There it was the best opportunity Clarke had seen. Titus was peeing facing the cliff. All she had to do was kick him over the edge. People would think he slipped. If they even bothered to investigate in the first place. Clarke was eager and eager people make mistakes. She jumped down miscalculating the height. Her ankle snapped. Titus turned his dagger already drawn. The grin on his face was disgusting "look who it is" Titus said raising his dagger.


	16. Chapter 16

_Meanwhile in the high mountains of Boudalan territory_

"I am going to enjoy this" Titus moved his dagger down ready to slam it into Clarke. She wanted to roll away from the dagger but putting pressure on her ankle turned out to be impossible. The dagger slammed into her shoulder staying there.

Clarke grunted in pain as she crawled away from Titus. Well this went sideways pretty fast. Titus took some steps towards her again. She hopped up on her one leg shaking on it a little put standing up. She pulled the gun from her holster "I am not giving up"

Titus laughed at her "using a sky people weapon against me? They'll know you did it"

"Self defense" Clarke said and fired the weapon. Her arm was trembling too much. She missed her shot. Cursing she fired again with the same result. Titus jump her and the weight of the man landing on top of her knocked all the air from her lungs. Primal survival instinct taking over she started to fight Titus. Ignoring the sharp pain in her shoulder she clasped her hands around his throat. Clarke was strong nobody could deny that. Her nails dug into his skin and he grunted. He moved his arms and pulled hers of his throat. Anger boiling he pulled Clarke on her feet the weight of her body weighing heavy on her ankle. The grin appearing on his face again he grabbed her by the throat and walked to the edge of the cliff dangling Clarke over the edge.

"Time to say goodbye sky girl" he removed one of his hands wanting to see the fear in her eyes before he dropped her. Maybe even have her beg.

 _Earlier the same day in Polis_

Octavia came back to Polis after a day roaming the woods for a sign that Clarke had been there. She didn't want to disappoint anyone. Her body was about to give up when she stopped her horse in front of the tower. She found Lexa and Abby in the throne room. They almost looked as bad as she did. Lexa rose to her feet when she saw Octavia enter "what did you find?"

She sighed and wiped the sweat of her face "nothing. I have no idea where she went"

Abby offered her a cup of water and laid a hand on her shoulder "you should rest. It is getting dark anyway"

Lexa had turned around and moved to the balcony looking over Polis and the surrounding lands. She was hoping that wherever Clarke was she hadn't lost faith in her. She wanted to find Clarke badly. The girl was all she had left in this world that made her feel like a human being. That she was more than the commander. "Don't lose hope Clarke. I am coming for you" she mumbled looking at the sky where the first stars had started to shine.

A knock on the door alerted Octavia and Abby. Aden peaked inside looking very pale. Octavia knew the boy and waved him in "what is it Aden?"

The boy played with his hands and looked up at Octavia "I know where Clarke is"

"What are you talking about?" Octavia looked at him in confusion. Abby yelled for Lexa to join them. She was just as surprised seeing Aden standing there.

The boy looked down at his feet not wanting to face his Heda with this news "One night I heard Titus talking to Dominitus about getting rid of Clarke. Titus was telling Dominitus that he had to get ready to take his place at your side Heda." he looked up quickly and then down again "I told Clarke about this and she said she'd take care of it. A few days ago I saw her leave right after Titus did"

"You should have told me sooner Aden" Lexa said trying to hold back her anger.

Abby stepped between the two "we know where she headed off to. We can track her from there. Where did Titus go?"

"To the Boudalan." Lexa said and yelled for a guard "assemble the two best trackers and my guards."

"Let me come with you" Abby and Octavia said in unison.

Lexa gave them a quick nod and moved to her handmaiden to help her in battle gear. Aden was still standing in the middle of the room looking very nervous. He didn't dare to move. Lexa stepped in front of him "you should have come to me sooner. I am disappointed in you"

"Clarke asked me not to"

"Heda stands above Wanheda Aden" Lexa said sternly.

Aden nodded and looked down. Lexa sighed and dismissed him. Right now she wanted to focus on finding Clarke. She wanted to do it fast. Clarke and Titus would end bad for one of them for sure and even if Clarke was worthy of the Wanheda title Titus was unpredictable. Meeting Abby and Octavia outside they rode of to the Boudalan trackers already ahead of them. It didn't take them long to find Titus his trail. The problem was that they were days behind them.

 _Meanwhile in the high mountains of Boudalan territory_

"I poisoned Lexa!" Clarke managed to speak . Titus was shocked and stepped back leaving Clarke to stand on the edge.

His grip loosened a little "speak"

"I poisoned her and I am the only with the antidote. She'd probably ill already. She'll die in a few days if not hours."

"Give me the antidote!" Titus yelled his voice echoing against the mountains.

Clarke grinned "I have to make it and I am the only one who knows how to use it. You'll have to take me back to Polis"

Titus grunted and slammed Clarke down to the floor her head hitting a rock. She passed out and woke up later hands tied to her feet. The moon was now high in the sky she must have been out for a few hours. Grunting in pain she tried to sit up and assess her surroundings. Behind her was the mountain. In front of her Titus was sitting by the fire. His back was towards her, will he never learn?

Slowly Clarke moved her head trying to keep herself from getting dizzy. He didn't even bother to take the dagger out from her shoulder. It would hurt like hell but she had to try. Moving her head she clamped her teeth around the handle. Slowly she started to pull the knife out. Her shoulder started bleeding like crazy and the pain almost made her pass out again. Finally it was out and she was holding onto it with just her teeth. Her vision was a little blurry. The loss of blood and getting the light knocked out of her wasn't doing her body any good.

She let herself drop to her side hiding the knife for now. All she had to was get Titus closer to her. To get his attention she started to moan and grunt the best she could with the dagger in his mouth. Shuffling noises made her think that Titus was moving closer. A shadow against the wall indicated it as well. Suddenly Titus his face was hanging above her. Ignoring all the pain and adrenaline flowing thru her veins she shot up and plunged the dagger in his throat. It couldn't have been a bigger surprise to him. Stumbling back he pulled the knife out bloods spraying out of his neck. He dropped to his knees trying to stab Clarke with his last energy but failed. Clarke had done it. Titus was eliminated. But she was still badly wounded days away from help.


	17. Chapter 17

_Meanwhile at the start of Boudalan territory_

"We have to rest Heda" one of the generals said. They had been riding for a long time none stop and a lot of them were tired. Lexa herself was tired she couldn't deny that. She looked back at Abby and Octavia. They both were struggling to stay in the saddle. With a nod she accepted the general's request and they came to a halt.

"We leave again at dusk" she said and walked to a stream to grab some water and wash her face. Sitting at the stream she looked up at the stars again thinking about Clarke. Somewhere in these mountains ahead of them Clarke was there. With Titus. She might be planning to make a move against him, she might have already made it. She might have failed. She might have succeeded. Who knew.

Octavia was observing Lexa from a distance. She wondered if it was a good idea to head over and try to cheer Lexa up a little. Clarke could be a pain in the ass but she was a pretty bad ass woman. A woman who knew how to handle herself pretty well when it came to fighting and hunting. She rose to her feet and headed over to Lexa. When she stood next to her Lexa stood up "you should rest Octavia. We leave at dusk" Lexa said before Octavia could even say something. Looking back over her shoulder she saw Lexa heading for the tent that some of the warriors had set up for her.

In her tent Lexa didn't hide her tears anymore. It was taking too long to find Clarke. She could be dead for all they know. Of course they had to rest. They had been riding for a long time but Clarke could be blowing out her last breath while they were just sitting her. When everyone was resting she will move on. She'll head out in front of them.

 _Meanwhile in the Boudalan mountains_

Clarke let herself fall down again resting on her good side. Her arms were still bound to her feet making movement almost impossible. Right now she was safe and able to give her a moment to rest. Her body was aching. Now she noticed that tears were streaming down her face.

Night was falling fast around her and the fire Titus had made earlier was just a dim light now. She needed to put something on that fire. If the fire died out she would be in danger. Wild animals could creep up on her and she wasn't visible for anyone who might pass her. Trying to move a little her shoulder was burning. Every move she made with her good arm her bad arm had to move with her because of the bounds. They needed to come off. The only sharp tool she had to do that was the dagger. The dagger that was still stuck in Titus his throat. How on earth will she remove it from his neck and cut the bounds with that?

She laid back and looked up at the sky. Stars were shining bright. She used to be up there. Thinking she was safe. Thinking this was all her life was going to be. Up there she wouldn't have met her Lexa tho. If she was gonna lay her a minute longer het chance of seeing Lexa again and making good on all her promises would be over. Grunting in pain letting out screams as well she crawled over to Titus as best as she could. The dagger was still in his neck. It was sticking out slightly. A small part of the blade was visible. Clarke moved her head to the knife and grabbed the hilt with her mouth. Moving forward so she could try to cut the rope off the pain became to much to her. She passed out very close to the edge of the cliff.

 _Meanwhile at the start of Boudalan territory_

Peaking out of her tent Lexa noticed the people sleeping around the fires they made. Holding her sword so it won't make any noise she slowly moved to her horse. The woman standing next to the horses made her jump a little.

"You really think I was going to let you go after her alone?" Abby said and mounted the horse.

Lexa sighed and mounted the other horse "how did you know?"

"I haven't slept. I saw you sneak out" Abby said and looked at Lexa "lead the way"

They slowly stepped away from camp speeding up the further they got. Making their way up the mountains Lexa started to get nervous. Looking up at the sky the stars were still shining. Dawn will break soon and it would count another day to the days that Clarke had been missing. Abby was riding next to her just as nervous as they probably got closer to a living Clarke. At least she hoped to find a living Clarke and not just a body. If there even was a body left to find. The woman rode in silence when a very dim orange dot in the distance got Lexa's attention. It was so dim that Lexa wondered if she even saw it.

"Abby. In the distance. What do you see? Look closely" Lexa said and halted her horse.

Abby looked at her and stared into the distance not sure what Lexa wanted her to see. In the distance she saw a little orange dot. Very dim. "I think I see a light"

"I saw it to. It must be a man made fire" Lexa said and headed off towards it Abby following her fast pace. This might be someone who had seen Clarke or it might even be her. The woman galloped to the light they saw in the distance. It didn't take Abby long to doubt if she even saw the light. Looking at the same spot in the distance she didn't see the orange dot anymore. They might just pass it and be on a wild goose chase. The moment she wanted to give up the moonlight illuminated two shadows. Clarke's blond hair was light up like a halo.

"Clarke!" Abby yelled and summoned her horse to go faster. Quickly Lexa grabbed Abby's reins the horse coming to an abrupt halt. "What are you doing?" Abby was looking at Lexa with a shocked expression.

Lexa pointed at Clarke "she's too close to the cliff. If you move to close with your hair the stones will fall and take Clarke with them"

Lexa dismounted her horse and looked at the spot Clarke was laying with the other shadow. It was probably Titus. Neither of them moved. They might both be dead already. Slowly Lexa moved closer to Clarke. Abby following right behind her. The sound of stones falling stopped both of them in their tracks. They watched the stones fall hopefully missing Clarke.

"We don't have enough light. We can't see where we are stepping ourselves" Abby said and sighed.

Lexa took some steps forward again trying to get closer. Stones tumbled down beside her and she froze.

"Lexa listen to me. If we risk our own lives we won't be able to help Clarke."

"I have to try!" Lexa fumed and looked at the moon. Dawn was near but it would be at least a couple more hours. What if Clarke blew out her last breath in those hours. Abby was holding Lexa back and looking at her. With a sigh Lexa bowed her head "We'll move at dawn"

Both of them were pacing around waiting for dawn to come. Slowly the sun started to light up the mountains. Lexa couldn't wait any longer. She headed over Abby following close behind her. Pools of blood shocked both the women. Ignoring Titus Lexa dropped to her knees next to Clarke. Her shoulder was ripped open en covered in blood. In one swift move Lexa pulled the knife from her booth cutting the ropes that bound Clarke.

"Clarke" she said with tears in her eyes gently touching Clarke's bruised up face.

Behind her Abby had opened the backpack "pull her away from the edge so I can examine her"

Slowly Lexa dragged Clarke away from the edge. The grunting noise that escaped from Clarke's mouth sounded like heaven at that moment. Clarke was alive. Abby emptied her canister of water over Clarke's shoulder washing away the dried blood. A gaping wound let out some fresh blood. Abby cursed and opened Clarke's eyes shining her little light in them.

"Will she be alright?" Lexa asked holding back the urge to cry.

Abby looked up at her "I don't think she will".


	18. Chapter 18

_Meanwhile in the Boudalan mountains_

"Don't you die on me Clarke" Lexa said not holding back her tears.

Abby was trying to close the important arteries in Clarke's shoulder to stop the bleeding. Sweat was dripping down her face. Losing her daughter under her own care would be too much to handle. There was so much blood. Looking at the puddle that was already there when they arrived Clarke barely had any left in her body. The eye check Abby did earlier confirmed that. If she wanted Clarke to survive she needed to give her blood somehow.

Lexa was gently stroking Clarke's bruised face "You're not gonna die on me Clarke. I'm never gonna stop trying. I am never gonna stop fighting for you"

"If I manage to stitch her up she'll need blood" Abby looked at Lexa for a second and then back at her work.

"Take mine" Lexa held out her arm.

Abby shook her head not looking up from her work "Clarke told me about you having black blood. It won't mix with our blood."

"Then use yours!"

"If I pass out from giving blood there won't be anybody who'll be able to tend to Clarke now will there"

"Can you wait for the rest to reach us?"

"I don't want to take the risk" Abby glanced over at Titus his body "he might be our best option"

Lexa looked at Titus his body. Clarke will never forgive her for mixing his blood with hers. But if it meant saving Clarke she had to do it. She jumped up dragging his body over. Abby had stitched everything up and let out a sigh of relieve. There was no time to relax. Clarke needed the blood. Connecting Clarke's arm to Titus his arm she showed Lexa how to get Titus heart to pump. It won't bring him back to live but the blood will flow for a short period of time. Maybe just long enough to give Clarke some blood to survive.

When Lexa got to work both women looked at the tube connecting Clarke and Titus. Waiting for the red blood to flow thru. Tears of happiness appeared on both their faces when the tubing was filled with red blood heading from Titus to Clarke.

Abby moved back to her daughter examining her body for more wounds. Luckily there weren't any big wounds. Just a lot of cuts and bruises. Clarke's ankle was in a weird angle and gently Abby touched it. The faces that an unconscious Clarke made confirmed Abby's suspicion that it was something that was hurting like hell "I'll have to set this once she is conscious. Otherwise I won't know what exactly hurts"

Lexa nodded and stroked Clarke's face gently. Hoping she was gonna wake up soon. She wanted to look in those beautiful blue eyes. Eyes that could see right thru her. In the distance she could hear the warriors marching up the mountain. It would take them a little while to reach them. She'd have to be the strong commander again. Not a girl crying over the chance of losing her lover.

Abby was looking at the interactions between her daughter and the commander. So full of love. Both the young women had a title to to their name. Heda, the commander. A strong and powerful woman that scared the crap out of Abby sometimes. Then there was Wanheda, the commander of death. The horrible name her daughter got after defeating mount Weather. But right now they were Lexa and Clarke, two lovers. In the corner of her eye she thought Clarke moved for a second. Starting at her daughter the movement was gone. It might have been her mind flooding with hope that made her see things.

"She moved" Lexa said and immediately she started talking to Clarke. Begging her not to give up. Telling her to power thru.

Abby held two fingers in Clarke's neck feeling a steady pulse "she's going to wake up soon. Get ready"

"Get ready?" Lexa asked surprised but almost tumbled off the cliff when Clarke shot up and took a deep breath.

"It's okay. It's okay" Abby said pushing her daughter back down "you're safe"

Clarke tried to to get up again putting pressure on her ankle. This still hurt like hell and she screamed out in pain. Lexa's strong arms wrapped around her holding her close. She could feel the girl's breath on her cheek.

"I am going to examine your ankle. Brace yourself" Abby said and grabbed Clarke's ankle. Turning it slightly was already too much for Clarke as she passed out again in Lexa's arms. "Wake her up. She can't keep passing out"

Lexa shook Clarke slightly "wake up. Come on" she grunted and slapped Clarke. The girl woke up instantly. "Stay awake. I am not going to slap you again"

Clarke was staring up at Lexa. Faded blue met forest green and tears flowed. Their little moment was broken when Abby touched Clarke's ankle again. The woman looked worried "it's definitely broken. I might have to adjust it so it'll heal properly"

"Then do it" Clarke said breathing heavy and grabbing Lexa's hand for support. Even with her weakened mind she knew it was going to hurt like hell. Abby grabbed the ankle with both hands and twisted it. Clarke's scream made rocks tumble down and birds fly away scared. Lexa was sure some of the bones in her hand got crushed when Clarke squeezed it but she sure as wasn't going to complain. Clarke was alive and that was the important thing.

"Can we move her now?" Lexa asked worried.

Abby nodded and stood up. Their following had arrived. Octavia immediately ran to Clarke happy to see that the girl was breathing.

"Help me get her up" Lexa said looking at Octavia. They girls lifted Clarke up gently. Even if they tried to be as gentle as possible Clarke winched under their touch. Lexa looked at Abby very worried "can we move her on horseback?"

"It's possible but it will hurt that's for sure."

"I can ride" A weak sounding Clarke chimed in.

Lexa shook her head slowly "no I am not putting you on a horse. I'll carry you"

Clarke huffed and grinned a little "you just wanna hold me"

"I am glad you got your humor back. I am going to carry you"

"We'll built a stretcher. Until Clarke feels better we will take turns" Abby chimed in.

Lexa barked order at the warriors. They split up in groups to built a stretcher and get rid of Titus his body. Dipping down she lifted Clarke in her arms bridal style can you find some water for Clarke" she asked Octavia. Taking a few steps away from the crowd she placed a soft kiss on Clarke's forehead "I am so glad you're alive"

The smile on Clarke's face made Lexa's heart flutter. In her arms was a very weak Clarke but it was her Clarke. The Clarke she had fallen so madly in love with.


	19. Chapter 19

_Meanwhile in the Boudalan mountains_

With Clarke safely strapped to a stretcher -much to her disagreement- the group moved off the mountain heading to Polis. Lexa and Octavia had first shift carrying Clarke. Moving slowly Lexa noticed that Clarke had drifted off to sleep. Worried that she had passed out again Lexa called over Abby who said that Clarke was just sleeping.

The group moved slow but steady. The road back down to leveled ground took longer than expected. Reaching the leveled ground they set up camp for the night and small groups set out to hunt. The girls carried Clarke to Lexa's tent. She thanked Octavia for helping and asked her to give her and Clarke a minute. When Octavia left Lexa took of her shoulder armour and sighed. She was so relieved that she had found Clarke but in what state. And what the hell happened up that mountain. Clarke stirred on her stretcher waking up. Without even thinking about it she moved over and wrapped her arms around Clarke. Immediately she felt the girl relax. A wet patch on her shirt caught her attention.

"Clarke. You okay? Are you in pain?" she asked worriedly.

Moving back a little Clarke shook her head "I am glad you found me"

"I will always find you" she reassured and stroked her cheek. She wanted to ask what happened up the mountain so bad. But right now Clarke couldn't handle it and she knew it. They sat together like that the rest of the night. Clarke had fallen asleep again but she wanted to stay awake. Just in case something or someone would be foolish enough to try and harm them.

 _A few days later close to Polis_

Abby managed to convince Lexa to let go of the stretcher for a few hours so she could rest her arms. Abby herself took her spot but Lexa sure as hell didn't move away to far. Clarke wouldn't let her anyway. She was still strapped to the stretcher and every minute she was complaining about it. Being able to rest and eat probably she had recovered fast. Lexa knew they were just a few miles away from the walls of Polis and commanded the crowds to halt. Looking at Clarke she crossed her arms "do you think you are able to ride a horse the last few miles to Polis?"

Abby started to protest but Clarke held up her hand at her "I will be fine"

"It's important for the people to see Wanheda return strong"

"This is ridiculous. It will set her recovery back" Abby argued but Clarke was already trying to get off the stretcher.

Huffing Abby headed off again making Octavia chuckle "even when you just almost got killed you still are stubborn"

Clarke grinned at Octavia and then tried to climb on her horse. Quickly Lexa gave her a boost and watched Clarke for a moment. The girl nodded at her and Lex mounted her own horse leading the group back to Polis with Clarke next to her. Driving thru the gates of Polis crowds quickly gathered around them. They cheered seeing Clarke riding next to Lexa. Upon reaching the tower Clarke noticed a small person bursting thru the crowd of warriors and servants that was waiting outside. Just in front of their horse he stopped and looked up at them. It was Aden. The boy looked pale and skinny. He looked up at Clarke trying to keep the tears from rolling down his face.

Slowly Clarke let herself slide of the horse and embraced Aden. Lexa coughed warningly. The nightbloods can't appear weak in front of people. The extremely annoyed glance Clarke gave her in return gave her goose bumps. She jumped down and led the two inside the tower. Inside Aden didn't even try to control his tears anymore. Tears that were a total mix of emotion. He dropped down at Lexa's feet begging her not to kill him "I am sorry Heda. I should have prevented this all. I should have told you"

Clarke was the one to bend down and pick up Aden "Listen to me Aden. You could have telled Lexa this earlier but she couldn't have prevented this. You know how stubborn I am". The boy huffed and tried to hide a little grin. Gently she slapped him on the back of the head "I am trying to help you here"

"Alright you two. I am not killing you Aden. You came to me in the end. I appreciate it still." she put a hand on his shoulder "I'd like you to mobilize the best guards and capture Domitius". This was an important task and Aden knew it. He headed off leaving Clarke and Lexa alone. When Lexa looked at the Clarke she noticed a facial expression she had never seen before.

"We have to talk. In private. Now." Clarke said and entered the throne room. A little scared Lexa followed her. Clarke was the only one that could scare Lexa. "There is no way I should be feeling this good so soon seeing how much blood I lost. My mom didn't want to tell me the truth so you're gonna do it"

"What do you mean?"

Clarke pulled up her sleeve showing Lexa the needle mark "what is this then? I had a blood transfusion and I am pretty sure it was only you and mom on the mountain"

Lexa fumbled with her hands a little keeping her eyes locked on Clarke's "your mother said Titus was our best bet". Clarke almost gagged. Did she seriously have the blood of that man flowing thru her veins? Noticing Clarke's reaction Lexa tried to hold the girl in her arms again but she refused.

"I can't believe you allowed her to do that"

"You were going to die Clarke! I couldn't just sit there and watch you die" Lexa said her blood turning cold "I did what I had to do to save you" she didn't even realize that tears were forming in her eyes.

When Clarke turned back to Lexa she wrapped her arms around her strong commander "I know.." she whispered. Of course she didn't want to see Lexa upset and knowing she would have lost Lexa ripped her heart in two.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: The final chapter. I enjoyed this all very much. I have new ideas for fanfictions but I plan on finishing it all before uploading so I can have regular updates even with my very busy schedule.**

 _Lexa's bedroom an early morning_

The sun just started to rise and birds were singing their first tunes of the day. Lexa was snuggled up against Clarke who was wide awake. She hasn't slept since they've returned from the mountains. Every time she closed her eyes images of the mountain flashed before her eyes. The few times she actually fell asleep and woke up burning hot. It was if she could feel the angry blood of Titus in her veins. The first nights she woke up screaming and this of course wok Lexa up. Now she decided just to stay awake and not bother Lexa with her nightmares. Of course Lexa had noticed the bags under Clarke's eyes and her reduced stamina but she kept asking eventually.

Clarke slipped from Lexa's grasp and moved to the balcony. With the sun not warming the balcony it wasn't the warmest place to be. The cold air felt good. She didn't care that it chilled her to the bone. From the tower she could see for miles. She could see the mountains where she almost died and killed Titus. She didn't want to look at the mountains but she couldn't help it. Like she was drawn to them. Like her soul didn't want her to forget what she had done.

Feeling two arms wrapped around her she sighed. Of course Lexa would wake up. Sometimes she really hated that Lexa was just a light sleeper.

"What are you doing up?" she asked Clarke placing some soft kissed in her neck. Clarke shrugged. What was she even doing up? What was she even doing in the first place. Lexa took the silence as a confirmation that once again Clarke hadn't slept.

Gently Lexa turned Clarke to face her. She placed a soft kiss on her lips and held her close "don't pay no mind to the demons Clarke. They fill you with fear. The trouble might drag you down but you're not alone. You have me."

Looking down at her feet Clarke heard the words that Lexa said but she couldn't believe them. In her mind she has said that a thousand times. Titus was just another name to add to her kill list. Her back really wasn't big enough. Two lips pressing onto hers brought her back to earth.

"I worry about you Clarke" Lexa said and stroked her cheek. The green eyes were filled with compassion and love. A look just for Clarke. A look that her father used to give her back in space. These eyes so fixated on her broke her down. She collapsed in sobs. Lexa's strong arms caught her and they stood there together. Slowly her sobs died down. Suddenly she stepped from the embrace and walked to the edge of the balcony. For a second Lexa was scared that she was going to jump.

"I am going to to tell you what happened" Clarke said and started to tell the story her eyes fixated on the mountains. She told Lexa how Aden warned her about Titus his plans. How she decided to end it and how she failed. Every detail about it she told Lexa. Nothing was left hidden. After Clarke was finished she sighed and looked down.

When she finally looked up again Lexa was standing there. Her body was tense and her stare fixed on Clarke "you shouldn't have handled it on your own. I could have lost you!" Clarke realized that Lexa wasn't angry at her for killing Titus but for risking her life doing so. She stepped towards Lexa who took a defensive step back. "Do you have any idea what could have happened? What if Titus had succeeded to kill you? Or queen Nia had captured you? Even a simple fall that left you incapacitated?" there was a pause and Lexa's voice had cracked "I lost Costia. I can't lose you" she said softly.

Stepping forward Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa. Slowly Clarke moved them to the bed and snuggled up under the furs with Lexa. Silence surrounding them they laid in each other arms. As close as they could be.

 _Later that day in Lexa's bedroom_

A persistent knocking interrupted their private time. Lexa sighed and slid out of bed walking to the door "enter!"

Aden peaked his head around the door and stepped inside. He kneeled down in front of his commander and looked up at her "Heda. The ambassadors have gathered and are awaiting your explanation of the events."

Lexa nodded "I'll join them in the throne room. Anything else?"

"Domitius is still imprisoned. He's begging for his life"

She snorted and turned to Clarke "the ambassador of the 13th clan and me will join you in the throne room."

Aden nodded and hurried off again. Lexa walked over to her official armour and put it on. "I know it is hard but it's important that you join me as the ambassador of the 13th clan"

Moving of the bed Clarke walked over to Lexa and cupped her cheek "I will be fine. I have you by my side"

The two left for the throne room. Clarke walking beside her Lexa. Something else was rushing thru her veins. Not the anger of Titus but the power of Lexa. The doors of the throne room were opened for them. Giving Lexa a nod she takes her place as ambassador of the 13th clan. Lexa sits down on her throne. Explaining the Titus situation to the room is a tense situations. The sentence for killing a Fleimkepa is death by torture and upon hearing that the ambassador of the 13th clan is the killer the room is conflicted. Several ambassadors yell for justice where others want to protect the alliance with the 13th clan. From where she was seated Clarke could see that Lexa was getting impatient.

"ENOUGH!" she yelled silencing the crowd as she stood up her hand resting on her sword. "There are no laws made that involve the spouse of the commander since there never has been one". People were starting to whisper. Suspicious about what was going on. "I will be taking Clarke Griffin ambassador of the 13th clan as my significant other. The sentence for harming the commander's spouse outweighs the sentence for killing a Fleimkepa. Therefor Clarke Griffin will live"

"You can't just do that!" one of the ambassadors jumped up looking furious.

Lexa stepped down and faced the man "are you going against your commander?"

"You can't change the rules. They've been like this for years. For a good reason"

With a quick movement Lexa had the tip of her sword pressed against the man's throat and the room on the edge of their seats "I am Heda. My decision." A quick and gentle nod from the man and Lexa stepped back. "Domitius will be imprisoned for the rest of his life for not warning me about Titus his plans. A new Fleimkepa will be chosen in the next few days"

Nobody dared to speak against Lexa. Slowly the room emptied out leaving just Clarke and Lexa. Clarke moved over to Lexa and took her hand "thank you"

"For what?" Lexa frowned.

"For loving me, protecting me, being with me. Everything"

A smile creeped up on Lexa's face "come on" moving her hand into Clarke's she dragged her off to her bedroom.

 _Midnight in Lexa's bedroom_

Clarke was snuggled up to Lexa. Their naked bodies tangled together only covered by the furs. Playing with Clarke's hair she was staring into the beautiful blue eyes. Something had changed. Her blue eyes were sparkling, full of life.

"You wanna sleep now?" Lexa asked softly.

Under the furs Clarke's hands started to move over Lexa's body as she shook her head "not interested in sleeping"

Feeling Clarke's hands move down her stomach Lexa grinned. Oh how she missed those hungry hands on her body.


	21. MESSAGE TO LEAPYEARBABY29

Dear Leapyearbaby29 aka Munro McLaren,

You're very sweet reviewing and asking questions. I appreciate it very much.

You're asking me to email you back but I don't have your email address so that's impossible.

I have been replying right here so you should check your PM's. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Curly98


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